The Man of the Shadows
by Erik's Heart
Summary: This is my first fanfic so please be gentle. I do crave suggestions, and feedback. It is ErikOC from OC point of view. It begins 3 years after the opera house fire. Rated M for future chapters. Based on Gerard Butler's portrayal.
1. Chapter 1

THE MAN OF THE SHADOWS --- NON PG-13

By Eriks Heart © 2005

Prologue

He fascinated me from the start, the mystery and the sadness of the man, the beauty of his soul. His was a broken and tortured soul when he found me. He saved my life and more. He was my man of the shadows.

Chapter 1

May 1874

My father was a doctor and I often assisted him in his work. We were moving to Paris where there was promise of a large cliental among the aristocracy, sadly he had a massive heart attack just before we arrived and the first thing I had to do was bury him. I was alone in a strange city. I had no friends or family and no home. The funeral had almost exhausted my funds. I could not stay in the hotel much longer but I had no idea where I could go or how I would manage to support myself.

After I left the cemetery I was heading for the hotel, lost in my thoughts and not really paying attention to where I was and somehow I made a wrong turn. I found myself in front of the burned ruins of the opera house. Everything hit me at once and I sat down on the steps and starting sobbing. I was lost and I did not know what I was going to do in this strange city. It was getting dark and the street was empty. It seemed no one wanted to go near the deserted opera house. I gradually became aware of the feeling of eyes watching me. Nervously I got up intending to try to find my way back to the hotel. I had taken about ten steps when two figures emerged from their place of concealment.

"Here's a pretty piece of flesh." One of the men said with a nasty leer on his grimy face. I turned and fled. I didn't get far before I tripped on my skirts and almost fell. As I put my hand out to catch myself one of the men grabbed my arm, ripping my sleeve in the process.

"Release her NOW!" shouted a deep voice and a tall, hooded figure stepped from the shadows with a swirl of a dark cape.

"It's him!" one of the men screamed and ran. The other, pulling me roughly in front of him, put his arm across my throat and pulled a knife. The caped figure stepped back into the shadows and disappeared. I struggled trying futilely to escape his grasp. Suddenly the man holding me jerked backwards and I was abruptly released. I fell to the ground, gasping as air was forced from my lungs. I whirled around to see that the thug had a rope around his neck, my savior desperately trying to tighten it while the thug was fighting back as hard as he could, one hand trying to keep the rope from tightening. His knife flashed and I heard a grunt of pain before my assailant suddenly went limp, his knife dropping to the ground. My savior straightened, dropping the limp form from his grasp, and held a black gloved hand out to me.

"Come we must go before the other comes with help." I took his hand without hesitation and we fled. He led me to a grate in the wall, opened it and led me through closing it behind us. The first few steps were dark. My rescuer seemed to have the eyes of a cat as he led me through the darkness and then we turned a corner. There was a torch set in the wall, which he then took, and led me down a series of passageways. Cobwebs hung from the dark ceiling and the stone walls were damp. I was quickly lost but he seemed to know exactly where he was. I don't know why but I felt no fear of this tall, cloaked figure. His face was shadowed in the depths of a hood, his hand holding mine firmly yet gently as he led me deeper into the tunnels.

For a while, the only sound was of our footsteps splashing and my gasping for air. Finally, he slowed his steps. He still didn't speak but he began casting small glances back at me, his hood slipped back and I saw a stunningly handsome profile, his piercing eyes a beautiful green. There was a mask covering the other side of his face. I knew then who he was yet strangely, I still felt no fear. He had just saved my life after all.

"You were weeping. Why?" He asked his eyes meeting mine seemed filled with sorrow. So, he had been watching me. I slowly found myself stammering my whole sad story. Why it seemed so easy to talk to him, I could only attribute to the echoing sadness in his eyes. He seemed like a kindred spirit, we both had lost someone precious to us. His steps slowed more as he listened. Finally, I ran out of words and feeling rather embarrassed I looked down at the ground. He stopped and put his hand gently under my chin lifting my face up to meet his gaze.

"Don't be embarrassed, I understand what it is like to lose someone." He paused a moment, a frown furrowing his brow and then it seemed he came to a decision. "What you are about to see you must tell no one." His eyes met mine, demanding a promise.

"You saved my life, your secrets are safe." I promised solemnly. His eyes searched my face for a moment and finding what he sought he nodded slightly and continued our journey. As we turned another corner, he stumbled slightly but then recovered. There was a blank wall in front of us, until that is, he pushed a certain place on the wall. As if by magic part of the wall slid to one side revealing another passageway lit by torches. As we passed through, the wall closed behind us. There were several passages branching in different directions almost like a maze. Abruptly the passage ended, an ornate solid brass gate tarnished with green, stood before us. My stranger pushed another place on the wall, the gate opened upon a large chamber, and I gasped in amazement. There were candles everywhere. Old tapestries in red and gold lined the walls, bear and wolf skins as well as Persian rugs, lay scattered about the floor. In the center of the room was a grand piano. There were sheets of music scattered across it. To the left side of the room was the kitchen. There was a heavy oak dining table and chairs, a wood burning stove, and a fireplace against the wall, on the right side of the room was an ornate brass bed with rich green velvet coverlets, an oak nightstand and armoire, a red velvet settee, a couple of matching armchairs and a heavy oak desk and chair across from the foot of the bed. Tapestries in green and red festooned the walls of the bedroom area.

"Not quite up to the standard of my last home but it's coming along." He stated with a somewhat proud smile. He threw off his cape and nearly fell. I went to him and helped him to a chair. His white shirt was stained with blood. He tried to push me away, protesting that he needed no help but strength seemed to leave him. He had lost a great deal of blood.

"Please, let me help you. I used to assist my father with his patients. We need to stop the bleeding." Reluctantly he nodded his head once in assent. I tended his wound as gently as I could. His hands clenching tightly, his face set, making only the occasional gasp. By the time I finished his face was white. He staggered to the bed, collapsed, and soon lapsed into unconsciousness. I stood studying him. The opera house had burned three years ago and the story had spread even as far as where I came from. I could not reconcile the stories of the monster with this man who had saved my life. Shaking my head, I went and tugged his boots off and then I had to get him out of his clothes. By the time I had finished I was sweating from the effort. He was a big man being at least 6'2" while I was just over 5'. Carefully I took the mask from his face and lay it on the desk. Gazing at the deformity that the mask had hidden I tried to imagine what he had been through as a child and into adulthood. I knew how cruel people could be and I longed to show him that not all people were as heartless and unfeeling. How she could leave someone who so desperately needed her love I could not fathom. While he slept, I explored the chamber, familiarizing myself with my surroundings. Soon I found myself next to the piano. "Learn To Be Lonely" was the title of the score that he had apparently been working on and the words that followed spoke of a loveless life of solitude it pierced my heart.

In the night fever set in and in his delirium, he kept calling her name. The torment and anguish in his voice was like an open wound. I bathed his poor face with cool water trying desperately to bring his fever down. Finally, exhausted I made my bed on the settee so that I would be close if he needed me in the night.

In the days that followed, I feared for his life, but finally on the third day his fever broke. I was sitting in the chair that I had placed next to the bed. I had borrowed one of his shirts, and was wearing it while I mended the ripped sleeve on my blouse.

"Who are you?" I heard. His deep voice a near whisper. I looked up at the sound of his voice and went to his side, and putting my hand to his brow, felt the coolness there, I sighed in relief.

"I'm the woman you saved. Jenny Fletcher. Do you have a name?"

"Erik...but perhaps you should know I'm also called.…" He started weakly.

"Don't say it. Erik is fine, that other person died in the opera house fire three years ago."

"You know about that? I should have died then. It would have been better if you had just let me die." He said, despair in his voice. "Why is it you aren't afraid of me like everyone else?" he asked looking at me in puzzlement.

"Well what kind of repayment would that be to the man that saved my life? Besides how would I ever find my way back out of here? I'm hopelessly lost." I shrugged. He started to sit up gasping in pain for a moment. I placed another pillow behind his back and helped him sit. He glanced down at himself then back up at me startled.

"You…" he started to say.

"Somebody had to, I couldn't let you lie in dirty, bloodstained clothing. I told you I used to assist my father." He started to look away in embarrassment and that is when he noticed the mask sitting on the desk across the room. His hand flew to his face frantically turning away from me.

"Give it to me! How can you bear to look at me?" He shouted. I went to him and gently turned his face to me, pulling his resisting hand from his face.

"Look at me. You never need to hide your face me." I said gently. He studied my face intently, looking for any sign of revulsion or disgust and finding none.

"Please." He whispered finally. I sighed and retrieved the mask from the desk and handed it to him. "Thank you." he said, a world of meaning in those two simple words.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

May to October 1874

As the days went by, he gradually regained his strength; he was a poor patient, fretting because he was too weak to get up and do things for himself, short tempered when I refused to let him try to get up, and embarrassed I think for the things I had to do for him that he could not. Needing something to keep him occupied while he was recuperating, he started woodcarving. What he was making I wasn't sure but it kept him from fretting. At times while I was sewing and resizing one of his shirts so that I could wear it, I would catch him looking at me oddly, as if I was a puzzle he was trying to figure out.

He began asking questions about my past, why we had come to Paris and I told him of how my mother had died a slow lingering death from an illness my father was unable to do anything for, and his overwhelming grief at her passing, it was decided that we would move a continent away so he could start anew.

"I am sorry; I didn't mean to remind you of your sorrows." He said gently as I began to weep.

"It's alright, sometimes it helps to talk." I said and I smiled at him wiping my tears away. "He's happy now, he's with my mother. Caring for you took my mind off of myself and I am very grateful to you, I am just sorry you were injured."

The days passed and gradually he started getting around, weakly at first but with growing strength. Each day he would make a circuit around the chamber, building up his strength. The number of circuits he made increasing, as he grew stronger.

As the days passed our food supplies gradually dwindled. When I told him we were growing short of food, he made a map so that I could find my out and gave me a coin purse that held some money. I was pleased that he trusted me to do this chore for him.

"How long?" he asked hesitantly as he handed the purse to me, frowning slightly.

"I shouldn't be gone more than a few hours." I told him as I picked up an empty basket.

"That's not what I meant. How much longer are you going to stay?" My heart skipped, for a moment I thought that he wanted me to leave. I turned my face away so that he wouldn't see the sudden fear I knew would be written there.

"I have no place to go. I will stay until you send me away." I said in a small voice. He was quiet for a moment.

"Here you need more clothing. You cannot go around wearing my shirts all the time. Do not let anyone follow you." He said gruffly as he handed me more money and abruptly walked away.

Several hours later when I returned with the supplies and the much needed clothing, I found a change in the chamber. He had been busy while I was gone. To the left of the kitchen area there now was a section screened off from the rest of the room, his bedroom area also screened.

"You will be sleeping here from now on." He said as he led me to the area near the kitchen. Inside was the settee I had been sleeping on. It had a pale blue velvet comforter on it. Against the wall was a light oak desk and chair. On the desk was an elaborate candelabrum. More tapestries in a pale blue theme lined the walls of the cubicle and on the floor around the settee were skins of white wolves. I was at a loss for words. It was beautiful and proper yet somehow I felt as if I had lost something. How had I come to care so deeply for someone in just a few weeks? I didn't know I only knew that there was an unexplainable connection and I would stay with him for as long as he wished it.

The next few months went by in a blur. Many I nights I would lie unable to sleep and he began playing the piano at night after I retired for bed, as he played, his gentle music would lull me to sleep. It was as if he was aware of my inability to sleep and he knew his music would help.

There were times, either while we ate or while at work on our own chores that he would pause, looking at me curiously, with an unreadable expression in his eyes. I was different from anything he had experienced, someone who accepted him, as he was, flaws and all and did not flinch at the sight of his distorted face.

One night in August, as I lay sleepless, tossing and turning he began playing softly and I eventually nodded off. I don't know how long it was that I had slept before something woke me with a start. My heart was pounding as I sat listening in the silence. I lit the candle on my bedside and looked around. There on the desk sat a small mahogany music box. I got up and went to look at it. It was a delicately carved oblong shape and had beautifully painted yellow and white butterflies inlaid on the lid. I opened the box and a delicate little tuned played. There was a note inside that simply said "Thank you my angel of light" Tears came to my eyes. Closing the music box I sat it back down on the desk, I hesitated a moment. Did I dare do what I was thinking of? I had been arguing with myself about it ever since he brought me to this room. Finally, I came to a decision. Slowly I made my way to his side of the chamber and stood at the doorway of his room. He was dressed in a black velvet robe sitting at his desk doing some paperwork.

"It's beautiful Erik." I said softly. He turned to me without surprise a frown wrinkling his brow.

"Why do you stay? You know who I am, what I've done. Why?" He sincerely wanted to know, his eyes demanding the truth and not allowing me to look away.

"That person doesn't exist for me. I never knew him, the person sitting before me is the man who rescued me and gave me shelter. The man I know is kind and generous with such a sad soul. And I have come to love that man. I know that you still love her and probably always will but I hope that a small part of you has come to care for me, and perhaps I can bring you a small measure of happiness. If nothing else I can be the companion you've never had. You never need to be lonely again." I paused for a moment, what I was about to do would forever change my life, knowing it would mark me, but after months alone with him here my reputation was ruined anyway.

"There is something that I can give you that she never could or would." I said and before I could change my mind, I let my gown slide to the ground. He looked at me with a shocked and troubled expression. I suddenly felt uncertain and turned from him wrapping my arms around myself, shivering, but not from the cold.

"Unless you don't want me." I whispered. There was complete silence and I was about to flee from the room in mortification when his warm hands gently touched my shoulders.

"How could I not want you? You are as beautiful and delicate as a butterfly. You have shown me a friendship and companionship that no one ever has before. You are the only one who looked upon my unmasked face without a hint of disgust, fear or pity. I never dared imagine someone like you existed." He turned me to him and I looked up into his eyes. "Why do you think I moved you from this room? Even that was not far enough. Do you know how many nights I poured myself into my music to take my mind off of you sleeping just on the other side of the room?" he asked softly. He put his hand to my cheek.

I slowly reached up and gently removed his mask and wig and sat them aside; he flinched slightly but then relaxed as our eyes met. I reached up and pulled his head down to me. Gently I kissed his poor misshapen face and then lightly brushed his lips with mine. He pulled back and looked at me, wonderingly. "Are you sure you want a monster such as me to touch you?" he whispered.

"You are no monster. You are the man that I love more than anything." I reached up to him and again kissed him, smiling. He pulled back again and looked at me a moment, uncertainty in his eyes but then he slowly leaned over and gently kissed me back. Hesitantly at first, his mouth open, his tongue lightly tasting my lips. I opened my mouth to his questing tongue, wrapping my arms around his neck. Finally he reached down, lifting me; he carried me to the bed. Gently he laid me down and lay down next to me, propped up on one elbow as he ran his hand down my cheek. I put my hand to his face and he captured my hand in his own and turned his face to kiss my palm. I leaned over to him and softly kissed his brow, his eyes, and the corner of his mouth. He pulled back gazing at me intently, barely contained passion smoldering in his eyes and then hungrily his mouth claimed mine, his tongue demanding entrance. My tongue greeted his and they twined together in a delicate dance of exploration. He again pulled back and stood up, his eyes slowly traveling the length of my body as he removed his robe and trousers. Suddenly embarrassed I closed my eyes and turned my face away. He returned to the bed and gently caressed my cheek, turning my face to him.

"The bold little butterfly blushes, is she sure that she wants this?" He asked softly, his hand gently playing with my curls. "If you want to change your mind, do it now before there is no turning back."

"For me there is no turning back. This is what I want." I said and then our mouths met. His hand slid down to my breast gently caressing it, thumb gently circling its tip. I gasped as it tightened under his touch, and I arched toward his caressing touch. His tongue danced with mine, my hand slid across his chest caressing him as he did me. Slowly his mouth left mine, trailing a series of small kisses and nips down my throat to the base of my neck, across my shoulder until finally his mouth found my breast, slowly tracing my nipple with his tongue then flicking it then gently sucking, his hand exploring softly down across my stomach. Warmth suffused my body and my hand echoed his, tracing down his stomach. Caressing, searching, stroking. His hand caught mine and he kissed my palm then guided it down to his hard length, wrapping my hand around it. I gently stroked its throbbing length, he hissed and muffled a groan at my touch and then his hand continued its own exploration until he found my moist warmth, his fingers stroking exploring, sending small sensations that had me gasping. Then his mouth claimed mine again, tongue demanding entrance, his hand grasping my breast, squeezing, he poised his body over mine and slid slowly in, stretching and filling me, thrusting at the resistance that met him. As he broke through, I cried out at the sharp, burning pain. He paused.

"My angel I've hurt you." He whispered sorrowfully and began to withdraw. I recovered from the momentary flash of pain and held him to me tightly.

"Just at first, it will be better now." I said as the burning slowly subsided.

"Are you sure?" He whispered, I nodded and at my insistence, we slowly began our dance. Gently rocking, thrusting, slow at first our bodies moved together. Faster and faster, the sweet heat building and building until I thought I would explode, and then finally sweet release. He paused holding my shuddering body until finally, gasping I relaxed. His mouth came down upon mine hungrily and tightly he held me to him as he renewed his efforts, plunging deeply he pulled my hips to him as he shuddered in time to the release of his seed. Finally, slowly he gently slipped from me. His breathing slowed and, still holding me, he rolled onto his side kissing me softly. I caressed his face and returned his gentle kisses. His hand roamed down and caressed my still throbbing flesh.

"Are you sure your alright." he whispered, his eyes dark with concern.

"I feel wonderful. I never imagined it would be like this." I said softly and snuggled up against him wrapping my arms around him. He gently stroked my back, kissing me softly on top of my head, his hand coming up to wrap in my curls. He pulled my face up so that he could see into my eyes. His beautiful green eyes met my gaze wonderingly.

"What you have given me… I never dreamed that anyone would welcome my touch."

"Welcome and long for, you mean everything to me." I said softly as I brushed a strand of hair from his face and then I buried my face against his chest wrapping my arm around him. Soon a growing insistence began pressing against me. Erik's hand gently slid down my back, to my hip and back up to my breast. He sat back for a moment, his eyes traveling from my face, drinking in my body as if memorizing it.

"You are amazing." He said and he reached for my lips as we again made love. At last sated, he rolled to his side; pulling me against him, he wrapped his arms around me, one hand gently cupping my breast his other beneath my sidelightly touching my stomach. He brushed my head with his lips. I fit my body against his my hand resting on his arm. It felt like I belonged here, with him holding me. Lying like this we fell asleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I found him gazing at me in wonder.

"It wasn't a dream, you are still here." He said looking at me in amazement and wonder.

"For as long as you wish." I cupped his face. "You are so beautiful." I told him as I kissed him tenderly, my hands gently tracing the deformities and then I kissed first the eye, then the cheek, the ear and back to his mouth. I lay back and smiled at him as he softly played with my hair, a growing insistence pressing against me. His hands cupped my face then gently traced down my throat, my shoulders then with his finger, he gently traced the outline of my breast, down my stomach, and then he leaned over and placed his lips at the base of my throat. I gasped at the sudden heat his touch brought on. Softly his kisses followed the path that his hands had traveled. His right hand stroked the outside of my thigh and then worked its way up the inside. His mouth following. I hissed and squirmed, pushing out to his seeking touch. He sat back, slow hunger in his eyes as he looked at me. Slowly his mouth met mine, barely touching he brushed his lips to mine, his tongue barely entering my mouth. My tongue touched his and they began a careful exploration. His fingers carefully exploring the secret places below until he had me writhing in delicious agony. Then spreading my thighs apart, he slowly slid into me, filling me. His hand slowly traveled back up to cup my breast, squeezing, rubbing as we rocked slowly at first, our movements perfectly timed. Moaning and whimpering, I wrapped my hands behind his neck. My mouth becoming more insistent, his movements increasing as the spreading warmth coursed through my body until at last clutching at him, nails biting into his back, exquisite release. Erik held me tight for a moment and then again began his movements deeper and deeper until with a gasp and a groan he filled me with his warm release. He rained kisses down my neck, across my cheek and found my mouth, holding himself deeply within until, he could no longer. We lay entwined in each other's arms Erik lightly running his fingers through my hair, occasionally kissing my forehead. Contented, I relaxed within his arms.

Much later, we finally got up and went about the business of the day. Hegave me a letter of introduction instructing his accountant to deal with me as he would with him.I was also to do the shopping while I was above. When I returned, I discovered that my things were back in his room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

October 1875

Weeks went by, our days filled by the various chores that had to be done. He would be either working, on his music, or painting or working on woodcarvings. I would be tidying the area, cooking, or sewing; sometimes I would do some painting of my own. Our nights filled with lovemaking, gentle and wild.

One day I heard him playing that song that had so pulled at my heart but there was a difference, it didn't seem quite so melancholy. I went to him, curious, and he glanced up at me.

"I changed the words." He said. I looked at the sheet music. It had a new title. "No One Would Listen." he began to sing. He had such a beautiful voice. When he stopped playing, he then looked up at me. He took my hand, kissed it, and held it to his cheek.

"You heard me; with you I'm no longer lonely." He said softly. I gently cradled his face.

"You never need to be alone again. I am glad you changed the words. They sounded so hopeless." I told him. He pulled me into his lap and held me tight, resting his cheek against my soft curls.

A few days later, he was playing and I found myself softly singing along. I knew that there was no way my voice could ever compare to hers and I knew that he was a harsh judge but I didn't realize that he heard me. I suddenly became aware that though I was still singing he had stopped playing and I stuttered to a stop. I glanced over at him, embarrassed, to find him smiling at me.

"Don't stop. You have a sweet voice. Not operatic by any means but sweet nonetheless. Your voice reminds me of soft morning light." I smiled hesitantly but could not bring myself to continue singing. Instead, I told him I had errands to run and then I went to our room to change. I did not intend to put myself in a position to where I could be compared to her. There was something sitting on the desk with a note attached. It was another music box; this one was in walnut, oval, with a delicately carved blue and yellow butterfly on a pink flower at the top. The note read "For my angel of light, for all you have given me ". I turned and he was standing at the doorway watching me. I ran to him and threw my arms around him.

"Thank you. It's beautiful." I said as I reached for his face. He kissed me gently and then with more urgency, his hands quickly unbuttoning my blouse and releasing my breasts to his touch, his thumb gently brushing across the tip of my breast. My hands went to the buttons of his trousers releasing that, which grew at my touch. Erik reached down, sliding his hand down my leg to my ankle and then up my leg to my thigh, hiking my skirt up around my waist. With his other hand he slid my under drawers down around my ankles and I stepped out of them. I moaned as his fingers met the secret place, softly caressing and then entering, exploring and caressing, as his tongue explored my mouth. I reached out stroked his warm length, my fingers circling, sliding down and back, then brushing the tip with my fingers. He groaned at my touch and then he pushed me back against the wall, with a small grunt lifted me up, and impaled me upon him. I wrapped my legs around him as he started thrusting his hips. Then, still holding me upon him, he carried me to the desk and lay me down at its edge. Savagely he thrust himself within me, his hands circling my waist, watching my face as I cried out in pleasure and pain, my hands clutching the sides of the desk, my need matching his, his eyes heavy and drunk with passion. My hands, nails biting, reached down and clutched his arms. When finally he emptied himself within me, he gently took my mouth with his and then, with small kisses, nips, and licks, worked his way down to that very place that he had left. Tenderly kissing the bruised flesh and with his tongue found the center of my heat bringing me to the point of exquisite ecstasy and violent panting release. Slick with sweat, breathing raggedly, I pulled him up to me. He kissed me softly and lifted me up carrying me to the bed and then we lay embraced in each other's arms murmuring sweet endearments to each other.

Much later, I finally got around to running my errands. I was wandering around the market putting things in my basket when a small figure caught my eye. It was a small boy about eight or nine years, he was painfully thin, his huge brown eyes standing out in his gaunt, dirt smudged face. His dirty brown hair was rather longish and disheveled. He was trying to look inconspicuous as he edged closer and closer to the loaves of bread. Unaware of my eyes watching him he reached out, grabbed a loaf and started to run.

"Stop thief!" the merchant cried. As the boy darted past me I reached out and grabbed his arm, he looked up at me in fear and tried to wrench himself out of my grasp but I held firm.

"How dare you call my ward a thief! He was just getting me a loaf of bread and you frightened him shouting at him like that." I declared. The merchant looked at me skeptically. "Here, ring me up I don't think I will be shopping Here again!" I said haughtily as I paid the man. I still had a firm grip on the boy's arm as we marched from the store. When we reached the street, he made a brief attempt to break away again but to no avail. He had yet to utter a word. I led him away from the shop, down a maze of streets until I was sure no one was following us. We came to an alleyway and I dropped to one knee looking him in the face. He was small for his age, his face and hands were sadly filthy and he was nothing but skin and bones but something about him spoke of an inner strength.

"Where are your parents?" I asked quietly, I believed I knew the answer to that, I was proven right when he looked at me with his big, mournful brown eyes and sadly shook his head.

"Are you lost?" I asked. He shook his head. I looked at him sadly for a moment and then came to a decision. "I'm sorry. I am an orphan too. Would you like to come and stay with me? I'll make sure you get all the food you want." I asked. He looked at me his eyes wide and slowly nodded his head.

"My name is Jenny what is your name?" I asked him. He looked at me for a moment and then he covered his mouth with his hand and then grabbed his throat and shook his head. He was mute. He looked around until he saw a mouse darting along the wall. He pointed at it and then at himself. He was called Mouse. Not even a proper name. I wondered how long he had been on his own.

"Come we need to get you some new clothes and then we need to get Monsieur des Ombres' permission. Where I take you, you must never show or tell another soul without my or Monsieur des Ombres express permission understand?" I said sternly. He solemnly nodded his head. We went and bought him several changes of clothing, shirts, and trousers, under things, nightshirts and robes. Erik was very fastidious about cleanliness and Mouse's clothing and person were filthy. I led him to one of the entrances to the underground passages and looked around. No one was around so I opened it and led him in. We traveled down many passages and at last, I stopped and turned to him.

"Okay Mouse. I have to go and get Monsieur des Ombres now. Wait here and I'll be back in a few minutes okay?" He nodded hesitantly. "I promise I won't be gone long." I went rather nervously to get Erik, trying to decide just how I was going to tell him. When I found him, he was sitting at the piano, engrossed in what he was doing.

"Erik, could you please come with me?" I asked as I sat my purchases down. He turned to me, puzzled.

"To where?" he asked.

"Please no questions yet. I have found a poor little Mouse that needs help." I said. He looked at me as if I were insane.

"Please." I asked and held out my hand. He put his hand in mine and followed me, still looking at me as if I had lost my mind. As we neared where I left Mouse, I stopped and turned to him.

"Now please don't get angry, but I found someone in desperate need of help. He's just ahead." I led him forward. For the first time ever I saw his face darken in rage.

"You brought someone HERE!" he shouted as we turned the corner. He glared at me, his hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to contain his rage but then his gaze shifted and he saw Mouse cringing against the wall. He looked at the small figure huddling in fear and anger seemed to melt away. He stood there; his eyes seemed to be looking inward at himself. He looked back at me.

"Erik he's mute and he's an orphan." I said pleading.

"Forgive me." He whispered and again looked at the boy, his eyes softening.

"Mouse, come here. It is all right. This is Monsieur des Ombres." I said and Erik looked at me, startled at the name I had given him and then looked back at the boy.

"Come here boy. Before you join us, you must promise certain things. Understand? Breaking your promise has dire consequences. You must never let anyone know of this place, that is the most important thing. One of your duties will be to accompany Madame when she goes above on her errands, it will be your responsibility to help her in whatever manner she needs help and to make sure she comes to no harm. The rest of your duties we will figure out as we go along and first thing for you to do will be to bathe. And burn those clothes that you are wearing, they are beyond saving." Mouse looked at him and nodded solemnly.

I looked at Erik oddly. He had called me Madame not Mademoiselle. He had named me as his wife not his mistress. Why? Erik held his hand out to me and when I placed my hand in his he pulled me to him.

"You do seem to collect wounded birds little angel, first me now the boy." He said gently. "Come we have work to do if the boy is to stay." With that, he led the way back home.

While I was heating water for Mouse to bathe in, Erik went to the alcove that had been mine briefly and started to put screens up again. Soon he reappeared.

"I'll be back shortly." He said as he put his cape and hood on and left. The water was hot so I put a screen around the old brass tub and told Mouse to get in and bathe while I prepared supper. I heard much splashing about as I cooked and finally a much cleaner little boy presented himself before me. His light brown hair stood up in wet spikes. He was wearing a light blue shirt and brown trousers I had bought him. The way the shirt hung you could tell how painfully thin he was. He shivered slightly and I told him to stand by the fire to get warm. When Erik returned he was lugging a narrow feather mattress, a couple of comforters and a small pillow. He disappeared behind the screen again and we heard some banging. Just as I was going to call him to supper, he reappeared. We ate in silence. Erik seemed preoccupied with his thoughts. After supper, Mouse helped me clean up the dishes. Then Erik took him by the hand and led him to the alcove.

"This is your room now Mouse." Erik said. Mouse looked around with round eyes. Erik had made him a small bed with a soft mattress and pillow and nice warm comforters in dark blue velvet. The desk and chair were still there but the tapestries that were hanging were different from the ones that he had hung for me. These were in a dark blue with gold trim. He had moved the settee to the area by the piano. Mouse went to the bed and sat down with a look of wonder on his face. It was as if he had never had a bed before. He ran to Erik and wrapped his arms around Erik. Erik stiffened at first, with conflicting expressions crossing his face, first dismay and shock, then wonder. He leaned over and hugged the small boy to him. Finally, he stood up, turning his face away so we couldn't see the tears that had come to his eyes and the small boy came to me to hug me as well.

"Come, its time to sleep." I said as I hugged him back and turned him to his bed. Erik and I left for our room. That night as he held me in his arms he told me about another small boy who had suffered abuse and more, without a single person to love him and he swore that this boy would never suffer as he did.

"I love you Erik." I whispered as I wiped his tears, kissing him gently and snuggled my head against him, my arm across his broad chest. I longed to hear him return the words but knew he wouldn't. I drifted into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

November to December 1874

As the days passed, Mouse proved to be and excellent help and I began to teach him his letters and math. He proved to be a swift learner and soon was carrying a slate and chalk around wherever he went so he could spell things out to us. We also worked out a kind of sign language so it would be easier for all of us.

One day as Erik played the piano and I sat doing some mending, Mouse cautiously crept over to stand at Erik's side. Erik glanced down at the small boy.

"Do you wish to learn Mouse?" The boy nodded vigorously.

"I warn you I am a strict task master, are you sure?" Mouse just nodded again eagerly.

It was amazing how fast our little ward learned everything he put his mind to. Watching him soak everything in made me think of how Erik might have been if he led a normal life when he was young. Amazingly, Erik never seemed to lose patience with the boy. Sometimes he would look at Mouse, sadness and pain permeating his very being. On those occasions, I would go to him and wrap my arms around him just to let him know he was loved.

Mouse and I were running errands one day and I had given him a few coins to get himself a treat. While he was gone I bought him a few extra sets of warm clothing and a new winter coat and gloves, the winter was becoming especially bitter. We passed the music shop and I sent Mouse to go check out some of the other shops, Erik wanted me to get Mouse a second instrument and we had decided on a flute. I went into the music shop when Mouse left. I had just finished the transaction when Mouse came running in. He grabbed me by the hand and urged me to the door gesturing frantically. I grabbed my purchases and followed. A light drizzle started falling as I followed him down the street and finally into an alley. There sat a small bundle of rags. It was a girl about the same age as Mouse. Her long blonde hair hung in wet, curly tendrils framing her sweet face. She was whimpering with pain and massaging her leg. It was twisted strangely I feared a broken leg. She shrank back as I reached for her as if she thought I was going to strike her.

"Sshh, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you I just want to help." I said softly. I gently examined her leg; it was twisted from an old break that had healed wrong. Apparently, she had hurt it by falling on the wet cobblestones spraining her ankle badly.

"What happened child? What's your name?" I asked. She exchanged glances with Mouse and he nodded in encouragement.

"Sylvie. I…I ran away because my uncle was drunk and was going to beat me again, he called me bad names and said I wasn't worth keeping and was useless because of my leg." She whispered. Mouse tugged on my skirt to get my attention. He pointed at her and mouthed the word "home". I nodded and handed him the basket while I picked the girl up. I would have to carry her. The rain started to come down heavier and a brisk wind started to blow, the cobblestones became slicker and several times, I slipped and almost fell. It was a long walk home. Light as she was Sylvie got heavier and heavier as we made our way home. The wind seemed to cut right through me. By the time we got to the entrance, we were soaked to the skin and freezing. When we got to the chamber, Sylvie and I were starting to turn blue from cold and we both were shivering violently.

"Erik I have brought another wounded bird." I called as I sat Sylvie by the fire. . He turned as I called out.

"What do you have this time..." he started to ask but when he saw our drenched forms, he got up and ran to get some warm blankets. He ordered Mouse to get into dry clothes and warm himself by the fire.

"Jenny you must get out of those wet things before you catch your death." He said.

"After I take care of the girl, bring me one of Mouse's nightshirts and a robe. She can wear that for now." I told him. While he went for the clothes, I helped Sylvie out of her wet things, wrapping a warm blanket around her and then sat her back in the chair by the fire. I took her leg, binding her ankle tightly and then gave her a cup of hot tea. Erik came with the clothes, sitting them near the stove to warm a bit, and came and stood looking down at the girl. She looked up at him shyly and he smiled at her in encouragement, his eyes gentle.

"She can warm herself by the fire, Mouse will keep her company. You need to get out of those wet things now." He said sternly taking my hand and pulling me to our room. By then I was trembling violently. My fingers were so stiff I couldn't manage the buttons and Erik, in exasperation ripped the dress, buttons flying and then bundled me into a warm blanket rubbing feeling back into me.

"What's wrong with her leg.?" he asked softly.

"She sprained her ankle badly but it's twisted from an old break that healed wrong. She's crippled. She will need a walking stick to get around easier. The poor thing you should see the bruises covering her body. She was cruelly treated." He held me in his arms and dropped a kiss on the top of my head.

"My poor angel is collecting quite a brood of misfits starting with myself." He whispered.

"Not misfits. Just people who need someone to care for them, to love them." I whispered back.

"Well I guess I need to fix a place for her to sleep. She can sleep on the settee until I can get a proper bed for her." He said and kissing my cheek, went to prepare her a sleeping area. I dressed in warm dry clothes and went to the kitchen. Mouse was lying on the floor in front of Sylvie with his slate and they were getting along famously. I sent Mouse to get some more wood for the fire and helped Sylvie get dressed. Then I fixed a supper of hot, thick stew and biscuits, Sylvie ate as if she had not eaten in a week. When she was finished, Erik carried her to the alcove that he had prepared. She looked at wonder at the small room that Erik had fashioned for her. He had used the tapestries and comforters that he had used in my room. He put her down on the settee and covered her in a warm comforter.

"This is your room Sylvie. We'll get you a real bed in a couple of days but you can sleep on this for now."

"Thank you Monsieur, Madame." She said sleepily. Erik just smiled. His smiles were rare but when he did, it was beautiful. We left the room as Sylvie slipped into sleep. We sent Mouse to bed and we followed suit. Once we were in bed, Erik held me close.

"You never fail to surprise me." He whispered. "You seem to have no end of compassion." He trailed a row of gentle kisses from my brow down my cheek and finally my mouth. We made slow gentle love that night. Afterwards he wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled back against him and drifted into sleep.

Erik was gone when I got up the next morning and I asked Mouse if he knew where he went. He shook his head and went about his chores. I went to check on Sylvie and she sat up as I came in.

"How are you feeling this morning Sylvie?"

"Much better Madame, Mouse told me you took him in too. Will you teach me things like you are teaching Mouse?"

"Of course I will if you wish it. You can join us when I teach Mouse his letters and math. If you want to learn music you will need to ask Monsieur Erik."

"Madame, why does Monsieur wear a mask?" I hesitated a moment.

"You must never ask Monsieur about it. You know how your leg looks and how people treated you. It is the same with his face. The one side beautiful the other not so and he was cruelly treated all his life. Perhaps one day he will not feel the need to hide behind it but the time is not yet. Understand?" She nodded solemnly.

"Come you can help me fix breakfast." I lifted her, carried her to the kitchen, and set her to peeling potatoes while I prepared the rest of breakfast. Mouse was stocking the fire and then put a kettle of water on for tea. Erik returned as Mouse was setting the table. He was hauling a small brass bed frame and mattress that someone had thrown out. I had no doubt that when Erik was finished with it the bed would be fit for a princess. He also had a length of wood. When I looked at it questioningly, he said he was going to fashion a crutch for Sylvie so she could get around easier.

After we ate, the children and I cleaned up and Erik went to work on Sylvie's room. When we finished cleaning, I gathered the children by the fire and we had our schooling session then I left them to amuse themselves and went to Erik to tell him that I needed to get Sylvie some clothes. She could not keep wearing Mouse's clothes. Mouse got up to accompany me as he usually did but I told him I didn't need his help this time. Erik gave me the money I needed and I left. It was snowing now and the wind was bitter. Snow was beginning to form small drifts and in spite of my warm clothes, I was freezing by the time I got back. I put my purchases away and stood by the fire to get warm. Erik was giving Mouse his piano lesson and Sylvie was listening with a look of longing on her face.

"Erik, with everything else yesterday I forgot, we have a gift for Mouse." Mouse looked up from the keyboard, a look of surprise on his face. "Stay here, I'll go and get it." I went and got the flute and when I handed it to Mouse he looked at it in wonder then looked up at me and then at Erik, a question in his eyes.

"Yes Mouse it's for you." Erik said. Mouse put the flute to his lips and blew through it experimentally. Erik showed him the proper fingering and put him through some exercises.

"Erik, I think Sylvie might want to learn too but she's to shy to ask." I told him.

"Is that true Sylvie?" he asked. Shyly she nodded her head.

"Very well lessons will start tomorrow." He said and her smile lit up her face.

It had occurred to me while I was shopping that Christmas was coming, I had no doubt that Erik, and perhaps even the children had never had one to celebrate so I had bought a few secret gifts and hidden them until the time was right. I could not wait for my little surprise.

It was cold when I woke the morning before Christmas. I burrowed my head under the covers and backed myself against Erik's warm length. He threw his leg over mine and cupped my breast in his hand as he started nuzzling the back of my neck. I felt his growing maleness pressing against me and I was about to turn to him when the sound of giggling froze me in place. Erik's hand closed convulsively on my breast as he burrowed his head in the pillow. Cautiously I peeked out of the covers to see Mouse and Sylvie standing next to the bed smiling.

"Morning Madam, Monsieur, we made you breakfast." Sylvie said proudly. Mouse held up a breakfast tray that contained some misshapen and burnt biscuits, butter and a jam pot.

"I see. Well thank you so much children. If you would just sit it on the desk, we will be up in a moment. Why not go and have your own breakfast? We'll join you soon."

"With a new set of rules." Erik muttered under his breath as they trailed out. I smiled; Erik still had a death's grip on my breast.

"Ah love, you can let go now they're gone." Erik immediately loosened his hold.

"Sorry angel." He said as he sat up and then leaned over, lifting the covers to kiss my breast in apology. "We have got to set some ground rules. Besides what they could have walked in on in a few more minutes, I do not want them to walk in and see me without the mask. It would terrify them." He said dejectedly.

"Darling I don't think that they would care about your face. They have come to care for you, the person." I said softly.

"Angel you are one of a kind. You think that just because it doesn't bother you that others should feel the same, but believe me I know differently." He kissed my brow ending the discussion. He grabbed his robe and got up. "Now let's see about this breakfast that they…." he paused as he looked at the pathetic biscuits. I joined him and stood leaning my head against his arm.

"Well I suppose if we use a lot of jam…." I said doubtfully. "Well we can't hurt their feelings." I said as Erik cocked his brow at me in askance.

"Might I suggest cooking lessons Angel?" He said as he bit into a charred biscuit. Ruefully I agreed with him. We forced down a couple of the biscuits and then dressed. When we brought the tray out to the kitchen, I looked around in dismay. There was flour everywhere, pots and pans strewn around. The children jumped guiltily.

"Madam, we'll clean it up. We promise." Sylvie said worriedly. "Please don't be mad." Suddenly I heard Erik start to laugh. I had never heard him laugh like that before and quick tears came to my eyes. For that, alone I could not be mad at the children, anything to here that laugh.

"Sylvie, I could never be angry at you for this, you were giving us a surprise. Come I'll help you clean up and from now on you are to help me when I prepare meals so you can learn." Erik cleared his throat.

"Before you start clearing this err… mess, there is something Madam and I wish to make clear. Although we realize you meant well, from now on no more surprises from the kitchen until Madam says that you are ready to prepare a meal by yourself. Also, from now on bedrooms are off limits. If you need someone when they are in their bedroom knock on the outside or call out, do not go in until they say it is all right. It wouldn't do to walk in while someone was in a state of undress now would it." Mouse and Sylvie looked down at their feet. Sylvie looked as if she was about to cry. Erik's eyes softened. "Okay lecture over. Sylvie it is all right I'm not angry. Just laying some ground rules for future reference and it applies to all of us not just the two of you. Madam and I must respect your rooms as well." Sylvie looked up at him and he smiled at her. Mouse nodded his head in agreement.

The day crawled along. I couldn't wait until everyone was in bed asleep so that I could set up my surprise for the morning. Finally, it was time for bed. When the children were safely in their beds, I took Erik by the hand and led him to ours. As we undressed, I glanced over to find Erik watching me. He was already undressed. I could tell by the look on his face that he intended to finish what never got started this morning. I smiled at him as I stepped out of my clothes and stood running my eyes down his familiar form, his broad chest with its sprinkling of curly hair, down to his stomach on down to that which had already risen. I went to him and reached up pulling his face down to mine. I kissed him lightly, my lips barely brushing his. He reached for me but I eluded his arms and when he looked at me in puzzlement I took his arm leading him to the bed, I turned his back to it. I reached up and kissed him again and then I traced kisses down his chest. I nipped at his nipple and then licked it. Taking his erect flesh in my hand, I stroked it tenderly and then worked my kisses down across his stomach. I pushed him down upon the bed and continued kissing and nipping at his stomach. He gasped as my lips met his manhood. Hissing with indrawn breath as my tongue licked up its length and across and around the sensitive head, he reached down and pulled me up to him, rolling me over on my back. His mouth captured mine his tongue plundered my mouth. His hand reaching down, across my stomach, on down the inside of my thigh and then to my center, his fingers invading thrusting, his thumb rubbing that most sensitive of places. Warmth spread from my stomach. I tossed my head, moaning as his hand and fingers brought me to the point of release. His mouth left mine momentarily; he took my lower lip in his mouth, sucking on it, nipping it. Pulling back he looked at me his eyes dark with desire and then his mouth met mine again his tongue entering my mouth even as he entered me. I whimpered at the heavenly sensations as he filled me, our joined bodies dancing in an ever increasing fevered pitch until a last, clutching each other tightly we reached or release. Breathing heavily, he leaned his forehead against mine, and then slowly kissed my bruised lips. When he finally slipped from my body he cradled me against him, his hand cupping my breast possessively and finally he fell asleep. I lay there for a while and then cautiously moving his hand, I got up quietly.

Grabbing my robe I checked to make sure Erik still slept, and went out, gathering my gifts from their hiding places. I then placed my gifts at the base of the piano. For Mouse I had gotten a new set of clothes and a shiny new pair of boots. He was outgrowing his old clothes and badly needed new shoes. For Sylvie I had gotten a violin. It was old but had a sweet sound. Erik had been difficult but I finally found a Celtic friendship ring in white gold. The jeweler had given me an odd look when I told him what to inscribe. It said "For my man of the shadows with love. Jenny". I had put it in a small box with a card with his name attached and set it on top of the piano. I crept back to bed and slid back under the covers. Erik shifted and mumbled in his sleep, reaching out and pulling me against him. I fell asleep.

When I awoke, Erik was already awake and dressed. He smiled down at me and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Time to get up sleepyhead, the children will be up soon." and he leaned over and kissed my forehead. I got up and dressed, secretly excited about the surprise that I had for them. Erik sat and watched me dress a small smile on his face. We went to the living area and the children were already there, standing side by side, broad smiles on their faces. I looked toward my small collection of gifts and found that there were more gifts next to mine. I looked at Erik in surprise and he had a smug smile on his face.

"Do you think that you could hide anything from me?" he whispered taking my hand and pulling me to him. "Mouse told me that he saw you hiding things and Sylvie guessed what they were for so we got our own secret gifts. Come shall we open them." He said as he kissed my temple.

The children had given us some drawings that they had done and framed which we admired. They had given each other simple toys that they had made. While the children opened the gifts that I had given them, I gave Erik the box with the ring in it and he handed me yet another exquisite handmade music box, this one was round and of redwood, with tiny blue and white butterflies painted around the sides. There was an engraved plaque in the lid, "To my angel of light who brings so much joy." Tears came to my eyes and I turned to find Erik holding the ring looking at the inscription. He had an odd look on his face.

"Erik? What's wrong?"

"No one ever gave me a gift before. It's beautiful." He slipped the ring on his right ring finger and pulled me to him. "Thank you my angel." he said and kissed me. We heard giggling and turned to find the children looking at us with grins on their faces. We smiled at each other and then gave the children each a big hug and kiss.

"Merry Christmas everyone." I said happily.

After breakfast, the rest of the morning and afternoon we spent singing and playing Christmas carols. A slight headache began plaguing me and I begged out by saying I needed to get supper started. I listened to them as I prepared our Christmas feast. When asked to join in I smiled and declined saying I would rather listen. Erik looked at me and frowned slightly when he saw me rubbing my temples. He stopped playing.

"Children go ahead go play with your toys." He told them and when they left the room he came to me "Angel is your head bothering you." He asked.

"A bit, it'll pass." he put his hands on my shoulders and started to massage them working the kinks out, then my neck. After a while, he led me over to the settee and sat down pulling me down next to him and putting his arm around me. I leaned against him and dozed off. When I woke, we had our supper and then I went to bed early.

The next day I woke to a scratchy throat and heavy head. I got up and went about my morning routine in silence, coughing slightly. Erik looked at me in concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I just have a bit of a cold. I'll be alright." I tried to reassure him but he continued to look worried. The rest of the day went by in a fog and by evening, I was feeling even worse, by the next day, my cough was worse but I was still sure that I just had a cold. A bad cold. Erik fussed over me like a mother hen. I had never seen that side of him before and at first, it was enduring but as the day wore on it got a little tiresome. By evening though, I was too miserable to care and had to admit that I was getting a fever. I spent a miserable night my very bones ached. When my coughing wouldn't stop, I got up to get some tea and lay down on the settee hoping that I wouldn't disturb Erik, and fell into a feverish doze. In the morning, Erik came out looking for me and seeing me lying on the settee swore as he picked me up and carried me to bed. He wouldn't let me get up and he and the children did all the chores. He fed me soup and chamomile tea but my fever continued to get worse. I really don't remember much after that.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for the reviews! It really helps.

Chapter 5

December to January 1874-75

The sound of a man sobbing intruded in my sleep, waking me. I opened my eyes slowly and glanced around. I was in an unfamiliar bed made of a dark heavy mahogany. There was a window with dark burgundy drapes pulled across it. The walls were burgundy and gold wallpaper in an ornate design. There was a heavy mahogany dresser and matching nightstands next to the bed. I was completely disoriented; Erik was sitting in a chair next to me, his hands holding his bowed head, tears running down his face.

"Please don't let her die; I couldn't bear it if my angel left me. I never told her what she has come to mean to me."

"Erik." I said weakly as I tried to sit up without success. His head flew up and a look of pure joy suffused his face. He grabbed my hand and held it to his face then reached over to touch my forehead.

"Your fever broke." He said in relief and then he gathered me to him. "I almost lost you." He whispered. Then he carefully laid me back, caressing my face. He gently kissed my cheek, tears glistening in his eyes. "I must tell the children. They've been worried." He went to the door and opened it.

"Madeline. Children she's awake!" he shouted and then came back to my side gathering my small hand in his, kissing it.

"Where are we and who is Madeline?" I croaked but before he could answer, Mouse came running into the room and threw himself at me. I held his small form until Erik picked him up and put him back on the floor.

"Give her some room. She's very weak." He said gently. Mouse nodded and then turned as Sylvie hobbled into the room, crutch under her arm. She looked as if she had been crying but she gave me the biggest smile and came over to my side.

"You're going to be better? We were very worried." She said.

"Yes she is going to get better now." Erik said not taking his eyes from me.

"Children let her get some rest. Besides it is time for bed." I looked up at the unfamiliar voice as a woman about Erik's age came through the door carrying a tray. She was a little bit taller than me with red hair worn up.The children came over andgave me a kiss on the cheek, and then reluctantly left the room.

"This is Madeline, the one who rescued me from the carnival." He told me. So of course, I knew who she was.

"See if she can eat a little soup and you too." she looked at me. "He hasn't eaten or slept since he brought you here four days ago." She told me.

"Thank you Madeline. Leave us now. I'll see that she eats." His eyes searched my face.

"Very well." Then she looked at me. "Make sure he eats something as well." I nodded and she left the room. Erik propped me up with pillows and then proceeded to feed me. I weakly tried to protest but he insisted that I was too weak to eat on my own. I could only manage half a bowl and then I made him eat. I fell asleep. When I awoke, sun was streaming through the window. Erik was lying next to me, sound asleep, his arm across me possessively. The door opened and Madeline came in softly.

"Ah, you're awake. "She said softy and then looked at Erik's slumbering form. "I'm glad to see he sleeps. I was worried for him."

"How long have I been sick, and how did I get here?" I asked.

"You had beenfeverish for two days before he brought you here, and he couldn't get your fever to break. He was frantic. He sent the boy with a note begging me for my help. I had not heard from him in quite a while and when I found him…. Well I was quite surprised when I found two children and a woman with him, a woman that he cares a great deal about. He told me the whole story and begged me to get a doctor for you. We could not bring a doctor there so he brought you here. I have never seen him like this; he kept saying he couldn't lose you."

"My poor darling, I do love him so much Madeline." I said as I put my hand on his.

"Thank you for that. All he has ever needed was for someone to love him unconditionally and she could never do that. She broke his heart and his spirit. You seem to have a healing touch and seem to be good for him, I'm glad that he found you."

"He's never been anything but kind to the children and me."

"Are you hungry? I'll go get a tray." She said as I nodded. My appetite was coming back. I turned toward Erik, watching his sleeping face, so beautiful and peaceful. He mumbled in his sleep, tightening his arm around me. Madeline came and left the tray on the nightstand.

"I'll leave this here. Try and get him to eat as well." I told her I would and she left.

"Erik." I whispered and kissed the tip of his nose. He opened his eyes groggily. "Erik I'm hungry and I can't eat with you holding me like this." I teased. His hand came to my face and he propped himself up then leaned over and kissed me.

"You don't know how glad I am that you are getting better." He said as he lifted me up and propped some pillows behind me, then he got up and put the tray on my lap. This time I was able to feed myself, making sure that he ate as well. Then there were other things I needed to attend to, and I was embarrassed that I needed help.

"Now the shoe is on the other foot." He teased, but then turned serious and pulled me to him hugging me tightly. "Don't ever frighten me like that again." He whispered.

As I regained my strength and my cough slowly subsided things fell into a routine. Mid-morning the children would come in and play quietly by the fireplace. After lunch, Erik would put them through their exercises on the flute and violin and I would nap, then before supper, Erik would give the children their reading and writing lessons. I loved watching him with them; he was so patient and caring.

One morning we woke to the whisperings of two small forms standing solemnly by the bed. We sat up puzzled; after Erik had lain down the ground rules, they had strictly left our room alone.

"What is it children?" I asked. Mouse held out a card to me, which I took, and Sylvie made her way to Erik's side of the bed. She climbed up on the bed and touched her small hand to Erik's face. A look of horror crossed his face as he threw his hand up over it.

"Don't Papa Erik. We don't mind do we Mouse. We love you." Mouse crawled up on the bed as well and took Erik's hand in his. Erik sat there stunned, as was I, not at the sentiment but at the fact that she had called him Papa Erik. Erik swallowed and then took them both in his arms, hugging them. When he released them, he looked at me.

"You have given me something I never dreamed of having. A family." he said quietly. I smiled and looked down at the card the children had made. It said, "We love you Mama Jenny. Don't get sick again." I looked up quickly, tears threatening.

"Thank you children, I love you too." and gave them each a hug and a kiss. Just then, Madeline knocked on the door and came in.

"Come along children let them get dressed." They left the room and Erik got up and went to his dresser drawer and pulled something out.

"I made this for you." He held out another music box to me. This time the knob on top was a blue and black butterfly on a daisy and the box was of pine. "What is inside is something I should have given you long ago." I looked at him curiously and opened the lid. Inside was a white gold ring in a Celtic, butterfly knot pattern with an oval diamond in the center.

"Erik it's exquisite." I said as I looked at the ring. I didn't touch it at first, afraid that what I hoped it meant was false.

"You've been as my wife, it is about time I made you my wife in fact. That is if you will have me." He brushed a curl behind my ear gently and looked at me, sorrow in his eyes."I did not realize just how much you have come to mean to me until I nearly lost you. I do love you Jenny. More than you can ever know. The ring is engraved." I then picked the ring up to read what was inscribed. "For the angel of my heart. Love Erik. "I looked at him mutely, and smiling broadly, I held my hand out to him. He took my hand and the ring and slipped it on my finger. He then lifted me up and kissed me as he whirled me around.

"I love you Erik." I whispered as he sat me back down. "Shall we tell Madeline and the children now?"

"We shall tell the children that we are renewing our vows. They already think you are my wife." he said softly.

We dressed and went downstairs to the parlor. Madeline was sitting at her desk reading a letter, a single tear slid down her check.

"What is it Madeline?" Erik asked surprised and concerned that his old friend, in fact his near sister was crying.

"It is from my daughter. You know she has been living in England since her marriage. She writes to tell me that she and her husband are leaving for America. Her husband had a great opportunity and they had to leave immediately. Erik, I will never see my daughter again, she is gone from me, and…I'm losing my house as well." She put her hands to her face and began to sob. Erik stood there stiff, uncertain how to respond. I went to her and put my arms around her. She was a strong woman, not given to emotional outbursts but the loss of her only daughter was a deep blow. She allowed herself to cry for a few moments and then with a deep breath, put her tears behind her.

"Ah well, such is life. We will still have letters, even if we are a continent away and I will find someplace to live." She said putting a brave face on it. Erik looked at me and I knew what he wanted. I nodded in agreement. He came to me and held me at his side.

"Madeline, Jenny and I need to find a new place to live, preferably deep in the country away from the city. We cannot return to where we were living." Erik looked down at me and continued softly. "Jenny's health would suffer if we were to return to that cold, dark, damp place. We would be honored if you would join us in our new home, once we have one that is." Madeline looked from him to me in astonishment. I smiled.

"We would love to have you. Think of it as repayment for all you have done for Erik and myself if you must, but I count you as a dear friend and would love the company of another woman."

"Then I would be honored and pleased to accept your offer." Madeline said. "I will ask around and see if someone knows of a place available."

"There's one more thing that we must arrange for." Erik said smiling as he kissed the top of my head. "Jenny and I are to be married, but for obvious reasons it must be done discretely." Madeline looked from me to Erik and smiling nodded once, as if to say yes, as it should be.

"I know a retired clergyman who is very discrete. We just have to come up with a reason for you to be wearing a mask."

"What if we said that Erik had been injured in a fire and the mask was to hide the terrible burns?" I suggested.

"One story is as good as another as long as no one connects my face to…." Erik agreed. "Well there is a lot to be done. We best get started."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

January to February 1875

The next two weeks went by in a flurry of activity as we prepared for the wedding. Even though it was just Madeline, the children and us, Erik insisted we have a formal wedding. Erik dyed his mask to as close to flesh colored as he could. Early one morning while Madeline and I worked on wedding clothes he went to check out a piece of property Madeline had heard about. When he returned he smiled. We now were property owners.

The remaining days before the wedding, he was spending at our new home, moving in furniture and preparing it for us. It was the first time since we met that we had been apart, the first time since we shared a bed that we slept alone. Parting was not easy, I was worried that something might happen while he was gone. That someone might question the story we told. I walked him to the carriage in silence determined not to voice my fears.

"I'll be fine angel." He said softly as he embraced me. I looked at him in consternation. I thought I had covered my feelings so well.

"Erik how is it you always seem to know what's in my mind?"

"I keep telling you that you can't hide anything from me. Your heart is written in your beautiful blue eyes. I am going to miss you but I will be back the day before the wedding. I love you my angel." He breathed.

"Then there is something else we have in common. Our children will never be able to lie to us." I smiled at him but there was some sadness hidden from me in his eyes.

"Love, Sylvie and Mouse are enough aren't they? Would you mind so very much if…Now is not a good time for this discussion I really need to get going if I'm to get there before nightfall." and he kissed me, slowly and deeply, as if memorizing my mouth.

"I'm going to miss you so much Erik." I said just as Mouse and Sylvie ran out for their goodbye hugs and kisses. We stood and watched him drive away in our new carriage, and then we got back to the business of getting a wedding planned, forgetting momentarily his enigmatic comment.

Just as planned, he arrived back the night before the wedding. I ran out to greet him when I heard the carriage arrive. The children started to follow but Madeline made them stay and set the table for supper giving us a moment alone. Madeline's groom came to take the horse and carriage to the stable. Erik caught me as I threw myself at him.

"I missed you so mu…" I didn't have a chance to finish before his mouth crushed mine, his arms pulling me against him, pressing me against his hard body. Then, with great effort, he pushed me from him.

"Just one more night." He said raggedly. "Tomorrow after the wedding I'll take you to our new home. The children and Madeline will follow in a week with the rest of our belongings. We will have the house to ourselves for a week. It will be as if it was the first time." We walked back to the house and the children eagerly greeted their Papa Erik. The night crawled by, suppertime came and we nearly forgot to eat, watching each other, thinking of the coming day. Madeline watched us watching each other with amusement and wistful remembrance in her gaze.

"Erik did things go well?" Madeline asked breaking the tension.

"Uh, yes." He said breaking his eyes away from mine. "I have hired two grooms, Antoine and Pierre Fremont. They are brothers. Antoine's wife is to come in twice a week to help with the housework. There are certain rooms that will be strictly off limits though. I am paying them enough to keep any questions they may have to themselves. The furnishings are nearly complete." His eyes met mine for a moment, and then he stood up.

"I have some things to do yet." He said somewhat unsteadily and brushed my cheek with his fingers. "I'll see you tomorrow my angel." and he abruptly left the room. I left for my room soon after, certain I would not be able to sleep but surprisingly sleep did come.

The next morning when Madeline brought in a breakfast tray I was unable to eat. There was a hard knot of excitement in the pit of my stomach. In less than three hours, I would be Erik's wife. I took a hot bath scented with gardenias and then carefully arranged my hair. One long reddish blonde ringlet fell in front of each ear and the rest of my curls swept up and back, falling down my back. Next, my dress of white lace, the rounded bodice came just above my breasts and had a ruffle of more lace around the top. The sleeves puffed out slightly at the top and then fit my arms snugly the rest of the way to my wrist. The skirt was slightly full with a train that flowed behind. A coronet of gardenias held the veil of lace in place, the veil shadowing my face.

"Oh mama you're beautiful." Sylvie sighed. I looked at Sylvie with her golden ringlets arranged, as mine were, her pink lace dress, a child's version of my own. She had pink ribbons entwined around her crutch and the basket of flowers hung from the crutch in such a way that she could scatter the petals with her other hand as she preceded me.

"So are you Sylvie. You are very beautiful too." I said and hugged her. Madeline came in then smiling.

"It's time my dear. The bear is grumbling downstairs demanding to see his bride. He is very anxious to make you his wife." I could swear she was on the verge of laughter. "Sylvie as soon as you hear the music you start to come down the stairs. Mouse will meet you at the bottom and then walk to where we practiced. Jenny will follow five paces behind. Ready."

"Ready." Sylvie said grinning. A tight knot gripped my stomach and I clutched my bouquet.

"Shall we go?" I whispered and we went to the head of the stairs as the music began. Sylvie carefully made her way down the stairs scattering petals as she went. Although Erik could not see me yet, I could see him and the pride in his eyes as Sylvie came down the stairs shown. She was in truth his daughter in all ways but blood. Then it was my turn. I slowly came down the stairs, not taking my eyes from his beautiful face. He looked up from Sylvie and with an audible gasp, stood there looking at me, mouth slightly open, adoration in his eyes.

The rest of the wedding went by in a blur with certain images that stuck out. We exchanged our vows and he slipped the ring over my finger. He lifted the veil and his eyes drinking in my face, slowly kissed me and I was his wife. It was short but beautiful and all too soon we had to change to traveling clothes. Madeline promised that she would pack my wedding dress carefully. Erik helped me up into the carriage and we were on our way to our new home.

Several hours later found us on a road with very little traffic. Trees were getting thicker and closer together while houses grew fewer and farther between. Finally, we came to a narrow lane lined by oak trees and Erik turned the horses down the lane. He started glancing at me as we approached the house to see my expression. It was charming. It was a two story stone manor house. Ivy framed the front door and ran up trellises all around the house.

He stopped the carriage in front of the house and we got out of the carriage, a groom came and took the carriage to the stables. As we approached the door, Erik swept me from my feet and carried me over the threshold, whirling me around before setting me back down.

"Welcome home Madame des Ombres. " He whispered and kissed me. We were standing in a large entryway. Directly in front of us was a flight of stairs. There were entryways on each side. Behind the stairs there were two doors, one led into a library, the walls lined with bookshelves. There were two leather sofas facing each other and two matching armchairs. Erik led me through the entryway on the left into a hallway. On one side, there was a sitting room with two red brocade settees, a matching chair and a light oak desk and chair. Red velvet drapes hung from the window. On the other side there was a music room with the grand piano central, a stand that held Sylvie's violin and another that held Mouse's flute, a red velvet couch and two chairs facing the piano, against the wall was a flight of stairs. At the end of the hall and joining the music room was a glassed in green room with a profusion of plants growing, there were two pink marble benches to sit on and French doors led to a covered patio. Through the entryway on the right was the kitchen which had a large stone fireplace, a wood burning stove, a pantry, a sink and oak counters, a small kitchen table and chairs and set of stairs that led down to a cold room. A formal dining room was adjacent to the kitchen, the table and chairs were of heavy oak as was the sideboard. There was also a water closet and a bathing room. Upstairs Erik showed me two guest rooms, one in pale yellow with a light wood four poster bed, a light wood desk and chair, dresser and nightstands, which was to be Madeline's room. The other guest room was more of a russet theme with a maple four-poster, dresser, nightstands, and desk and chair. There was another water closet and bathing room. Another room could be either a sewing room or whatever I wished he claimed but I already had an idea what it would become.

He then showed me the children's rooms. Sylvie's room was in pale rose. Her bed was a white canopy bed with pale rose comforters and pillow. She had a white wood nightstand, dresser, bookshelves, desk and chair. We then went to Mouse's room. His was all in a medium blue with pine wood furnishings. There was a playroom between their bedrooms.

Then he led me into the master bedroom. The walls were of medium green wallpaper with gold trim. The drapes of dark green velvet covered the two windows, our bed placed between the two windows. Again, we had dark green velvet comforters. There were brass nightstands with glass tops on each side. There was a dresser and a vanity with an ornate mirror attached. Against the wall opposite, the bed was a fireplace. Through one door was a study for Erik. Bookcases lined the wall, a heavy desk and chair sat in the middle of the room. To one side was a couch, to the other the staircase that led to the music room. On the other side of the bedroom, the other doorway led to its own private water closet and bathing room. The tub in the bathing room seemed extra large. There was room for two in it.

"What do you think, wife of mine, angel of my heart." He said tenderly.

"Oh Erik it's all so wonderful." I reached up and kissed him. He looked at me hunger burning in his eyes. His hands went to the pins in my hair releasing it to flow around my shoulders.

"You are so beautiful." He breathed as he ran his fingers through my hair. For the second time since we had been together, I felt suddenly shy. "My bride blushes. My wife, my angel." he whispered and he bent to kiss me, lips just brushing mine. Just hearing him call me his wife, made my stomach do a funny little flip flop. His hands moved slowly up my body, cupping and caressing my breasts through the material of my dress. I reached up pushing the sleeves of his jacket off his arms. His waistecoat followed and then he turned me from him. Raising my hair from my neck, he placed soft kisses at its base around to the side of my neck and then softly nipped at my earlobe. His hands caressing down the front of my dress and then back to the line of buttons at the back. Slowly unbuttoning, placing a kiss on the exposed flesh as each one came free. He slid the dress from my shoulders placing kisses and nips across my shoulders as he freed my arms from the sleeves. The dress slid down and I stepped from it, my petticoat soon following. He pulled me back against him, his hardness pushing against my back, one hand caressing my breast the other sliding slowly down across my stomach. I closed my eyes leaning back against him relishing in the warmth that spread from his touch. He turned me to him, again his lips just barely touching mine, his tongue tasting my lips.

"Erik I love you." I whispered against his lips. "My husband, my love." and I carefully removed his mask and then his wig placing them on the vanity next to me. Again, our lips met and he lifted me and carried me to the bed, my mouth hungrily pulling his lower lip into mine. He laid me back on the bed and kissed my throat, my shoulders and the tip of each breast. His hands then slid my under drawers down and off. He stood there watching my face as he slowly undressed, his desire readily apparent. He came and took my leg placing soft kisses up the inside of my thigh, across my stomach. I pushed out to him burning for his touch. He teased, touching, caressing, kissing everywhere but that place which wanted it most. His mouth met mine once again, his tongue wrapping against mine, and then a whisper touch of his hand and I was opening myself to his seeking fingers. Waves of heat rolling from me as his fingers entered and withdrew, exploring the secrets of my most intimate of places, his other hand massaging, caressing my breast. I was writhing with the tender torture. His mouth left mine and worked its way down across my stomach. His tongue touched, joining his fingers in exploration. My body arched as spasm after spasm rocked my body. His mouth then traveled back up and I captured his lower lip, sucking it, nipping it. I kissed his neck and slowly reached my hand down over his stomach until I reached his throbbing length. Slowly I slid my hand up and down its length. He closed his eyes and hissed with indrawn breath at my touch. I lightly brushed my fingers across the tip and then closed my hand around it increasing pressure as I stroked and caressed him. Finally, with a groan he pulled my hand away and slowly sheathed himself in my body, moving slowly, rhythmically slow heat building and building until slow, intense waves of rapture pulsed through my body. Our bodies shuddering in time, holding each other tightly until finally panting, we were no longer one. Finally, he rolled to one side, his hand wrapped in my hair, gently kissing my eyes, the tip of my nose, my mouth.

"Each time we make love is as magical as the first. Angel I love you so much. " he whispered as he stroked my hair. I caressed his face, smiling at him.

"You make me feel in ways I never thought possible. You are my heart, my love, my life dear husband." I said softly and kissed him.

We lay in each other's arms for a while until a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten anything that day.

"Hungry?" I asked him. He smiled at me a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"For you, always." he said as he gently bit my neck. I hit him playfully.

"I meant for food." I said as his teeth playfully nipped at my breast. He sat back with a sigh.

"Well if you insist we can see what Delia laid out for us. Before I left I told her to leave us a cold plate today." He said as got up and grabbed his robe. I got up and followed suit. We went to the kitchen and made our trays of cold chicken, cheese, fruit and bread. It was cold in the kitchen and we took our trays and went back to our bedroom. We sat the trays on the desk and Erik started a fire in the fireplace. We sat side by side, feeding each other tidbits, our eyes locked. I fed Erik a piece of cheese and he grabbed my wrist and kissed it lightly on up the inside of my arm. Then he stood and led me back to the bed.

"Now its time to feed my hunger." he whispered and soon our bodies and souls were again joined.

The next morning we were slow to rise. Erik lay with his arm around me in his favorite position with one hand over my breast. I settled back against him, prepared to doze off again, when his hand began to stir gently caressing. His other hand slipped beneath me, and putting his hand on my stomach pulled me against him tighter, rocking his hard length against me. My body had an instant response to his caresses as his hands explored downward. His wandering hand discovered my body already prepared for him and pulling my pelvis back to him, he eased his way in. With slow short strokes, the fever slowly built. His hand caressing that secret place as we rocked soon had white hot heat spreading through my body in shuddering waves and soon his shudders joined mine. When his shudders ceased I turned to him and gently brushed his hair from his face.

"Morning husband, I love that word, husband." I whispered. He smiled at me, gently playing with my hair.

"Sleep well my wife, my angel." He said softly kissing my forehead.

"Mmm wonderful, I missed your arms around me when you were gone. The bed felt so empty. It seems I just can't sleep well without you."

"I didn't sleep well without you either. I spent my nights playing the piano, pretending I was playing for you. You have awakened something in me I never thought I possessed. You have shown me a love more powerful than I believed could exist. You will always be the angel of my heart." He kissed me softly. "Come, we should get up. There are a few riding horses for sell in town, I wanted to show them to you. See if you liked any of them."

"I've always loved horses Erik. In my old home I rode frequently." I said as I got up, Erik, watching me as I got up, his eyes roaming my body. I turned from him as I dressed, uncertain what his eyes might find. The words that he spoke the day I sent him off coming back to me.

"What is it love?" I started. I hadn't heard him come up behind me. He had dressed quickly.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I was just wondering what I should fix you for breakfast."

"Don't you mean us?" He asked.

"I'm not really hungry this morning." His eyes quickly became concerned and he put his hand to my forehead.

"You're not becoming ill again are you." he asked worry in his eyes.

"I'm fine my love, better than fine." I kissed him. He looked at me uncertainly. "I promise." I said and led him to the kitchen.

After he had his breakfast, we walked to the stable hand in hand. He had his cape and hood on, hiding his masked face. He introduced me to Antoine and Pierre and then requested the carriage be made ready.

We arrived at the sales lot and two horses immediately stood out to me. Both were young, about five years old. The one I knew immediately would be a perfect match for Erik was a black stallion without a trace of white. The fire in his eye matched the passion in Erik's heart. The one I chose for myself was a flame red chestnut mare with flaxen mane and tail. She had a stripe down her face and a sock on her right hind leg. She nickered as I approached her and reached out to me snuffling me and nudging me for attention.

"Erik these two are perfect." I whispered. He smiled at me.

"These are the very one's I had chosen and that bay gelding for Madeline. I just wanted to be sure the mare was to your liking." Erik went to make the purchase and I led them to the back of the carriage and secured them. On the way home we threw names around until we had found the ones, we liked best. Erik's stallion was simply The Shadow. My mare became The Lady, the gelding was for Madeline to name. We arrived back home and had the horses stabled.

In the following days, we rode together exploring our new property. In the middle of the property was a small lake fed by a stream nestled at the base of a rocky hill and surrounded by a dense forest of pine trees. As we rode deeper into the forest, it suddenly opened up into a meadow. It was so peaceful and beautiful.


	7. Chapter 7

_Please send reviews I could always use helpful suggestions or comments._

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Chapter 7

February to March 1875

The week went by quickly and the day came when Madeline and the children arrived. We heard the carriage arrive and went out to greet them. Mouse threw his small body at us; Sylvie came slower on her crutch but was just as enthusiastic at her greeting.

"Papa Erik, mama we missed you so didn't we Mouse." She said and Mouse nodded vigorously.

"We missed you too children. Why don't you go in and explore the house. I'm sure you'll know your rooms when you find them. We need to get our belongings into the house." Erik said.

"Madeline it's good to see you too. How were the children?" I asked as I hugged her.

"The children were just fine and don't try to tell me that you missed us." She said with a grin. "Come there's quite a bit to be unloaded." and with that we went to help Erik unload the carriage.

In the following weeks, we finally settled in and the children renewed their lessons. We began getting invitations from our few neighbors to drop in for tea. The children, Madeline and I would occasionally go and meet the neighbors and I would give Erik's excuses, he still was not comfortable meeting people.

One day an invitation to a masked ball came and for once Erik agreed to attend. Since it was a masked ball, he felt he would not be out of place. He thought that I would enjoy it; I had never been to anything so grand as a ball before. He went to work designing our masks and costumes. Madeline declined to go preferring to stay behind with the children.

A few days later, while Erik was giving the children their music lessons, Madeline and I were in the conservatory tending to the plants when she casually turned to me.

"When are you going to tell him?" She asked. "You can't keep it a secret much longer, he's very observant you know." I nearly dropped the watering can.

"How did you know?" I asked in dismay.

"I also am very observant and more knowledgeable than him concerning this." She said smugly.

"I just don't know how he is going to take it. He started to ask me once if Mouse and Sylvie weren't enough but he never finished his train of thought. However I have decided to tell him after the ball. Let us enjoy the night before I tell him."

The night of the ball arrived and our costumes were exquisite. My gown was of deep blue velvet, with a sweetheart neckline, the sleeves tight at the top and then flowing from my elbow down. My mask was a stylized butterfly in light blue trimmed with dark blue embroidery and chips of sapphire and held on with a dark blue velvet ribbon. I wore a dark blue velvet cape with a hood to wear over my gown. Erik was wearing a dark blue velvet suit with a black satin waistcoat and a matching cape, his mask was also like a butterfly, but more masculine and in dark blue trimmed with chips of ebony and tied with a black ribbon. The wings of his mask came down farther on his face than mine to hide what was underneath. He looked so handsome and elegant.

"Papa, Mama you're so beautiful." Sylvie said. Mouse nodded his agreement enthusiastically. Erik turned to me, smiling and took my hand.

"My angel you are indeed the most beautiful of butterflies." he said as he leaned over and kissed me. "Shall we go?" He said and we went hand in hand to the carriage and he helped me up. Antoine was driving the carriage tonight and we sat in the back, Erik's arm around me.

When we arrived, I introduced my husband to our hosts, Monsieur and Madame Devereux, and we went inside. Everything was beautiful and exciting. Seeing all the costumes and trying to decide which was best. Erik and I danced almost every dance together. It was wonderful. Then in one moment, it all came crashing down. Monsieur Devereux approached us, another couple following behind.

"Monsieur, Madame des Ombres I would like you to meet..." and as he said their names I felt my world crash. Erik's hand tightened convulsively on mine and I looked at his face, which had gone white. Our host was dragged away by another guest while Erik mumbled his greetings. She looked at him and her eyes widened in recognition. Her husband looked puzzled, as if he should know Erik but could not quite place him. She looked at me uncertainly then turned to her husband.

"Darling could you get me something to drink please?" She asked and when he left she turned to me. "Madame des Ombres? That is his name? You are his wife? Do you know…?" she asked as if she could not believe it.

"Yes, my wife, my angel of light." He said, as he clutched me to him not gently. She couldn't take her eyes from his face and Erik's grip on my arm would leave bruises. The look on her face spoke volumes. I felt as if a great boulder had settled in the pit of my stomach. "Perhaps this conversation would be best carried out some other time." He said.

"Yes perhaps so." she breathed and again glanced at me. Her husband returned with her drink.

"It was nice meeting you." I heard myself say as we parted company. Erik watched in silence as they walked away and then glancing around, turned to me.

"Come. I think we should leave now." Erik said when they were gone.

"Yes. I agree." The night was shattered, even the sky seemed to cry as a heavy rain started coming down. Antoine brought our carriage around and we got in in silence. The trip home was in a strained silence. Erik's face seemed set in marble while I tried to choke back my tears. As we arrived home, I leaped from the carriage before it came to a full stop, running to the house sobbing.

"Jenny, wait!" Erik shouted, but I kept running. I knew that he had loved her but I had thought that over when he had asked me to marry him. Madeline heard me as I ran upstairs and came out of her room as I ran past it.

"You're awfully early aren't you..." she started to say. "Mon Dieu what happened?" She asked as she followed me into the bedroom.

"_She_ was there." I cried out. Just then, Erik ran into the room, stopping short when he saw Madeline.

"Madeline, leave us. I need to talk to my wife." He said quietly. I turned my back to him as she left the room, consternation written across her face.

"What is there to say? It is obvious that you still love each other. You should have seen your faces. It's a wonder her husband didn't see it." I spat out.

"What you saw on my face was fear. Fear for you and the children. For our lives together, if he had recognized me, I could be in prison now, or dead. I am not willing to give up my life just as it truly begins. I won't lie, I was shocked when I saw her and yes a part of me will always love her, but my love for her was destructive and led to madness." I could feel him standing behind me, could hear him pleading for understanding. "You have led me from that Jenny. You share my soul. The love I feel for you is so much deeper than what I felt for her. She made her choice and I have made mine. I will always choose you. You are the angel of my heart." He breathed as he lightly held my shoulders and turned me to him. I stood looking at my feet and he put his fingers under my chin and raised it. His eyes, always so expressive, were brimming in tears begging me to believe.

"Oh Erik." I said and glanced away. He pulled my face back.

"Please believe me angel. Can you?" I studied his face silently and for an answer, I reached up, kissing him gently and then wiped his tears.

"Your eyes tell me all I need to know." and I smiled tremulously. He wiped my tears from my cheek and then smiled.

"I do love you so little angel." Desperately his mouth took possession of mine. Hungrily his tongue plundered my mouth. Feverishly we discarded our clothing and fell to the bed. Our lovemaking wild and frantic until at last, spent we lay within each other's arms.

"I love you angel, only you." He whispered. "I'll never leave you." He tenderly caressed my body.

"I believe you. I love you so much." I whispered. For a while, his hand gently caressed the slight bulge in my stomach.

"You're finally putting on a little weight eh." He said teasingly.

"Uh Erik there's something I have to tell you." I said hesitantly. He looked at me with growing understanding. Different expressions crossing his face as different thoughts crossed through his mind. First wonder and joy followed closely by fear and horror. He sat up abruptly.

"What if it's born like me?" he whispered. I sat up and pulled his face to my breast.

"Then we will love him or her just as we would any child. Our child will grow up knowing that he is loved just as we love Mouse and Sylvie, just as I love you." He looked at me and then gently put his hand on my stomach again.

"How long?" he asked.

"Sometime in the fall." I told him. He gathered me to him and kissed me but the worry never left his eyes.

The next morning we were slow to rise. Erik held me as if he was afraid to let go, his hand straying to my belly to caress what lay within.

"A child, I never thought it possible. I just assumed that what had made me like I am had also made it impossible for me to sire a child." He whispered. "I just pray its born normal." He entwined his fingers in my honey gold curls and kissed me lingeringly.

"So that's what you meant that day. HE will be fine. I'm sure he's a boy." I said smiling as I caressed his chest. "The first of many." I grinned. His eyes opened wide in alarm at the prospect. "And don't get any ideas about becoming celibate."

"With you my love, that would be impossible." he chuckled. "I am afraid that with your first caress you have created a new kind of monster."

"That's my kind of monster." I teased and then I sighed. "I suppose we should get up. Madeline will be concerned after last night." His smile faded.

"Yes, and we may have a guest today. Are you sure you are up to it?" His hand again strayed to my belly.

"I'll be fine as long as I know you love me."

"Forever and always my angel, nothing will ever change that." and he kissed me yet again and then got up to dress. I followed suit.

When we went to the kitchen, the children had already had their breakfast and were outside playing. Madeline brought us our plates and sat down with us.

"So you worked out whatever it was between you last night. I am glad. Now what was it about her being there?"

"Madeline they were both there. He did not recognize me but she most certainly did. We may have a guest sometime today."

"I can't deny that I will be glad to see her, she was like a daughter to me. But for you it could be dangerous."

"I don't think she would harm him. She could have done that last night with just one word. Besides you didn't see the look on her face." I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and looked down at my plate. "I think she still loves him." Erik reached for my hand.

"Remember, she made her choice and I have made mine. It doesn't matter how she feels or doesn't feel." Erik said and Madeline smiled.

"I always knew she was bad for you but you are a stubborn man and would never listen to me. I can see that you are truly happy now and I am glad."

"Yes truly happy. Madeline did she tell you, I am to be a father in truth." he smiled but there still was a hint of worry in his eyes.

"Darling, Madeline knew without me telling her." I laughed.

"Mama, what did Aunt Madeline know?" Sylvie's sweet voice asked. She and Mouse were standing at the door. They had over heard my last comment. We exchanged glances and Erik nodded his head.

"Children you are going to have a baby brother or sister sometime this fall." I said. Mouse and Sylvie exchanged glances uncertainly. "How we feel about you will never change. You are our children too and we love you both." I held my arms out to them. They looked at each other again and then smiled and came to get their hugs.

Later we were in the music room. The children were supposed to be practicing but instead were tossing names back and forth, as to what the new baby's name should be. Some of the names were outrageous and Erik was openly laughing. He had forgotten to wear his mask today as he was beginning to do more and more often in the privacy of our home. Erik was sitting at the piano and I was standing behind him. We were laughing loudly over Mouse's last choice in a name when Madeline walked in, an uncertain look on her face.

"Erik, Jenny we have a guest." And _she_ followed Madeline into the room. Erik stood and reached for my hand.

"So, you have come to visit." He said. "Children come and meet my former pupil. These are our children Madame. This is Sylvie and Mouse our adopted children, and of course you met my wife, Jenny." He said proudly and smiled down at me.

"Your children?" She said uncertainly. She looked at them, glanced at me and then gazed at Erik with a somewhat lost expression on her face. Clearly, she hadn't expected there would be children, even adopted children.

"Come children. Your Mama and Papa have a guest. Why don't you go out and play." Madeline said as she ushered the children from the room.

"Yes my dear, our children. You know I did not know it then but when you left me, you did me a big favor. I found someone who truly loved me for myself, who never looked at me with fear and loathing." He pulled me to him and smiled down at me with all his love and tenderness in his eyes. Tears came to her eyes as she looked at us.

"Won't you sit down?" I asked. The three of us sat down. We sat there for a moment, uncomfortably each with our own thoughts.

"Was there some purpose to your visit or were you just curious as to what kind of woman would marry a man such as myself. A let's see how was it you described me. Ah yes a "pitiful creature of darkness" that's what you called me." Erik said bitterly. I gasped, how could she have said that! Erik glanced over at me apologetically. "As you can see I no longer live in darkness thanks to Jenny." He said softly, gazing at me he smiled and taking my hand kissed it.

"Erik it was you who saved me." I said gently.

"What do you mean, he saved you?" she asked.

"Just that he saved me from…"

"We need not go into that with her." Erik interrupted. "The fact is that because of you I was in the right place when Jenny came into my life and because of her I have found a happiness that I never knew could exist." he said squeezing my hand.

She sat there silently, her eyes wide, shining with unshed tears. I don't think that she could get over the fact that Erik had moved on and no longer loved her as he had. She kept staring at Erik and I finally realized that it was his unmasked face that held such fascination for her.

"You find something interesting Madam?" Erik asked coldly. His face like stone, his eyes dark. He also realized what held her attention so. She flinched at his tone.

"Forgive me Erik." she said softly and then turned to me. "You have no trouble seeing his face?" she asked. Erik's grip tightened on my hand, his mouth clamped tightly.

"Madam I don't know how you could ask that. He is Erik and I love him, all of him. I happen to think he is quite magnificent and its quite rude to talk about him as if he wasn't here." I said hotly.

"I didn't mean to be rude. You are a better person than I." she said. She was very flustered. She had seen his face twice before but now he wasn't trying to cover it and that took her by surprise. Especially when the children came back in, and Sylvie climbed in Erik's lap, putting her arms around his neck for a hug and Mouse cuddled in between us. Neither of them making any notice of his face.

"Madame, did you know Mouse and I are to have a baby brother or sister." Sylvie said excitedly. "We can't decide what name to give it."

"Ssssh Sylvie, we have plenty of time to find a name." I said blushing.

"A baby?" she said in disbelief. I think that until that moment she actually thought ours was a marriage in name only.

"My husband is a most pas…" I paused for a moment glancing at the children and changed what I had been going to say. "Loving husband and devoted father. We are looking forward to many children." I said looking over at Erik smiling. A slight stain flushed her face as she gazed from me to Erik. I felt that it was time to put all hostilities behind us.

"Children, why don't you play something for the vicomtesse?" I suggested. "Erik, you as well." I smiled at him. He looked at me uncertainly and then leaned over and dropped a kiss on my forehead.

"Your wish is my command angel of my heart." I saw her flinch slightly at the endearment and wondered why. She looked at me.

"He used to call me his "angel of music"; I see he has a new angel now. Don't mistake me I'm glad he has found someone he could be happy with."

"Thank you." I said smiling. We listened to the children for a while and then she said that she must get back. We said our goodbyes and she looked at Erik.

"I really am glad you are happy now." She said her eyes filled again. "I was so cruel to you. I hope you know how much I regret that."

"Thank you for that, but it was that cruelty that brought me my angel and I am indebted to you for that. I wish you and your husband well." we said our goodbyes and she left.

Erik sat back down at the piano and started playing a new song he had been working on. After playing for a while he stopped a moment.

"Come sit with me Jenny." he said. I came over and sat on the bench next to him. The score in front of him had been untitled but now it said "Love Story" and in the corner it said "for my wife Jenny with love."

"I wrote a special song for your birthday angel." He said as he began to sing in his melodic baritone.

Where do I begin

To tell the story of how great a love can be

The sweet love story that is older than the sea

The simple truth about the love she brings to me

Where do I start

With her first hello

She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine

There'd never be another love, another time

She came into my life and made the living fine

She fills my heart with very special things

With angels' songs, with wild imaginings

She fills my soul with so much love

That anywhere I go I'm never lonely

With her around, who could be lonely

I reach for her hand-it's always there

How long does it last

Can love be measured by the hours in a day

I have no answers now but this much I can say

I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away

And she'll be there

I opened my mouth in astonishment and went to him. The children were clapping when he finished.

"That was beautiful. How did you know? I don't think I ever told you when my birthday was." I asked. He smiled as he pulled me into his lap.

"I told you that you could never hide anything from me." He said as he nuzzled my neck.

* * *

_Love Story is the theme from the movie of the same name. It was written by Henry Mancini and originally sung by Andy Williams. I just thought the words appropriate for Erik's feelings for Jenny._


	8. Chapter 8

**Please let me know what you think. Its rather discouraging when everything stays quiet.**

* * *

Chapter 8

May to August 1875

The sun was shining through the windows as I sat knitting a baby blanket. I was listening to Erik on the piano, he was stuck on a particular piece, not sure where to go with it and he was getting frustrated.

"What..." I exclaimed as I dropped my knitting needles abruptly and my hands flew to my stomach. Erik looked over at me, concern written on his face.

"Something wrong angel?" he asked.

"Erik, come here!" He came running to me, his face dark with concern. "Don't worry silly just put your hand here." I said and put his hand on my stomach. "There, did you feel that? That's your son." I said smiling. Erik held his hand on my stomach, a small curious smile on his face.

"Are you sure it's not our daughter? It felt like butterfly wings to me." He said smiling. He was down on one knee as he continued to caress my growing belly. He ran his other hand through my thick curls as he chuckled. Then he got up and sat next to me putting his arm around my shoulders, dropping a kiss on the top of my head.

"Just wait in a few weeks; he'll be kicking like a mule." I said as I snuggled against him.

"Ah don't say that where Mouse can hear. He will be insisting we call the baby Mule. Then again it might be better than his last suggestion." He said in amusement. Mouse had been coming up with one outlandish name after another and laughing silently but hysterically after each one. Sylvie on the other hand chose the most elaborate names such as "Antoinette Evangeline Sylvie des Ombres. She always snuck a Sylvie in. I told her one name was sufficient.

"What was that?" I asked

"Fish." He said.

"Oh my, I do hope that he has some more reasonable choices when it's close to time." I tipped my head up to see his face. "Have you had any thoughts as to what we should name our son?"

"Or daughter. But no I say let's wait and see what happens." he said sadly with the trace of worry in his eyes as he slowly rubbed my stomach.

"Our child will be fine." I insisted. He looked at me with a sad little smile and kissed my forehead as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"As you say." he said and then put his hand over our child waiting for him to kick again. "There. You call that a kick? I still say it is a girl. A tiny, beautiful little girl, just like her mother." He smiled as he kissed the tip of my nose.

"Tiny? Have you really looked at the size of my belly? He is going to be big like his father. At the rate I'm growing he'll be walking by the time he's born." I teased and put my hand on his, nestling my head against him. Madeline walked in just then, smiling at us.

"Madeline the baby has started moving." I said smiling happily.

"You think its wonderful now just wait until he starts kicking in the middle of the night when you are craving sleep." She said as she sat in a chair and picked up her knitting. She was knitting a pair of baby booties in a pale yellow. The baby already had a growing collection of clothing in various colors. Even Sylvie was learning to knit on a pair of booties she was doing in pink and blue. She had not quite decided if the baby was to be a boy or a girl. Mouse was sure it was a boy.

As the weeks passed, I indeed grew larger and larger and Madeline was correct about the time of day our child chose to be at his most active.

I had been tossing and turning for some time, incapable of finding a comfortable position. I glanced over irritably at Erik who seemed to be sleeping like a baby. I struggled to a sitting position and swung my legs over the edge. On top of everything else, the baby was sitting on my bladder and yet another trip to the water closet was due. In my struggle to sit up Erik finally woke.

"What is it love?" he asked.

"Your son won't let me sleep and...I'll be back in a minute." I said as I waddled to the water closet, my hand holding the small of my back. When I returned Erik was up and had his robe on.

"Come here angel." He said as he sat me down on the stool in front of my vanity. He began massaging first my neck than my shoulders my upper back than he dropped to his knee and began on the small of my back. His large hands firm yet surprisingly gentle. "I'm sorry love I wish I could make it easier for you." He rested his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me, cradling my distended belly.

"I'm just so bloody tired and so bloody fat. Your son delights in kicking my ribs. I dare you to deny that he kicks like a mule now." in the reflection in the mirror I saw him hesitantly open his mouth to say something then bit his lip changing his mind. His eyes had that worried look again. He could never hide his feelings; his soul was written in his eyes.

"What's the matter love?" I asked. He bit his lip again as if trying to make up his mind whether to ask his question or not.

"Is it normal for the baby to be so large?" He asked hesitantly.

"So you do think that I am fat." I said angrily and then instantly regretted it when I saw the hurt look in his eye.

"That is not what I said or meant." He said stiffly. "I am just worried that with the baby so large and you so small...if anything were to happen..."

"Sshh, don't worry nothing is going to happen. I promise. I'm sorry I snapped at you." I closed my eyes and leaned back against him. "I'll just be glad when he decides to come. Just one more month to go." I sighed. He played with my hair and my neck for a few moments.

"Come let's go back to bed." he said and helped me get up. I lay on my side and he lay next to me, pulling me against him so that his body supported my back, gently caressing me and softly murmuring endearments. I finally slept.

When I woke, Erik was still holding me, his hand resting lightly on my belly, occasionally rubbing it when the baby became restless, as if it would quiet the babe.

"Have you been awake all night Erik?" I asked.

"Mmm, I was just watching you sleep. You are so beautiful." His hand moved up to my face as he brushed a curl back behind my ear. "How are feeling?" he asked softly.

"I feel fat and like...I have got to get up." I said as I struggled to sit up. Erik got up and helped me out of bed and I tottered off to the wc. Erik had an amused look on his face. Men.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

August 1875

The dawn broke dark and ominous. Heavy black clouds gathered overhead threateningly, the wind blowing the trees furiously. The summer storm had sprung up from nowhere. After we finished our breakfast, we all went to watch the storm from the kitchen window. We could see Antoine and Pierre rushing to get the horses safely stabled.

"I should go and help them." Erik said and went to get a mask. He came back and leaned over for a kiss before he went out. Just then, a flash of light almost blinded us at the same time a sound like an explosion deafened us. When we looked outside the stable was in flames. Erik ran out, Madeline and Mouse at his heels. Sylvie and I made our way as quickly as we could but she with her crutch and I in my cumbersome condition were somewhat slower. By the time, we made it to the stables Mouse was frantically pumping water into buckets. The men were running back into the burning building to rescue the horses who were screaming in terror. Antoine came running out leading one of the carriage horses and released it into the field then went running back to get another one. I stood petrified until I finally saw Erik come out of the barn with his black stallion a rag wrapped around his face to block the sight of the flames from the frightened horse, Pierre and Antoine close on his heels with the last of the horses that had been in the stable. Sylvie was sobbing as we watched the stable go up like tender. It was hopeless; we could do nothing but try to keep it from spreading to the house. Mouse was still pumping water when Erik went to him and put a hand on his arm. Mouse looked up at him and Erik shook his head. There wasn't anything else to do. Erik came and held me silently while we watched the flames destroy the building. All we could do is be thankful that it was the stable and not the house, and that no one had been harmed.

Just then, there was another crash of thunder and the skies opened up. The rain came down in a torrent; the wind picked up even more and swept up an empty bucket, slamming it into a tree, shattering the bucket. Madeline grabbed Mouse by the arm and they raced back to the house. Erik yelled at Antoine and Pierre gesturing for them to leave as he swung Sylvie up into his arms and followed me back to the kitchen. By the time we reached the house, the heavy rain was doing a better job of extinguishing the flames then we could. Antoine and Pierre were fleeing down the lane toward their homes.

The storm raged all day and into the night. Everyone was together in the music room. Erik and the children were playing song after song, trying to drown out the storm, trying to take our minds off the events of the day. My hands clinched tightly on my knitting every time there was a flash of lightning, hoping that Erik would not notice. I did not want him to realize that I was terrified of lightning. On top of everything else, my back was bothering me a great deal but I was trying to ignore it. Finally, I could not sit any longer and I stood up. Just as a loud crash of thunder sounded a severe cramp doubled me over and had me gasping.

"Erik!" I cried gasping for breath. He took one look at me and ran to me. Madeline looked at me, sent the children to get hot water and ran upstairs to the bedroom. Erik swept me up in his arms, grunting a bit with the effort, and rushed upstairs as best he could. He put me down just as another contraction set me gasping.

"Get that dress off her and have her put this on." Madeline said as she threw a nightgown at him. For the second time since I had known him, he simply ripped the dress, buttons popping in all directions, and pulled the dress off. I slipped the nightgown over my head and then grabbed his arm, fingernails biting into his flesh as another contraction rent my body. It was to early the baby wasn't due for at least another month.

"Alright Erik you can leave us now. I'll call you when its time." Madeline said. He looked at her in dismay and then back at me.

"But she needs..."

"The children need you to be with them. They are scared too." Madeline said gently.

"It's alright Erik." I said. He swallowed and cupped my face.

"I love you." he whispered and kissed me. Reluctantly he left the room glancing repeatedly back at me. Before the door closed, I saw the children each take one of his hands.

Hours later our son finally made his appearance. With his first scream, Erik came rushing into the room, not waiting for Madeline to call. The children made as if to follow him but he told them to stay out until he called them. He came to my side first, wiping the sweat from my brow while Madeline cleaned our son.

"Are you alright," he whispered as he took my hand in his.

"I'm fine and so is our son. He is perfect. I told you it would be a boy." I said tiredly and Madeline came and held him out to Erik. Erik looked at him in awe, taking in his perfectly formed face. He gently took him from Madeline, he looked at me and then back at our son.

"But he's so small." he said. Just then, another pain had me gasping.

"Mon Dieu. There's another one!" Madeline exclaimed. Erik looked at me in astonishment and then at the small form in his arms and went and gently laid him in the bassinet. Then he came and took my hand.

"I'm not leaving this time." He said as another contraction left me gasping. Erik held my hand murmuring encouragement. The baby seemed to be determined to stay where it was. I struggled to push the baby out but I was so tired I did not think that I push anymore.

"You can do it love, for me angel, for me." He begged, and with one final, agonizing push, our daughter came into the world. I fell back in exhaustion. Erik bathed my brow with cold water and then looked apprehensively toward the small form that Madeline was cleaning.

"You have a perfectly beautiful little girl as well Erik. Your fears were misplaced." Madeline said as she handed me my daughter. The look of awe on Erik's face as he gazed at his small daughter was endearing. He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"You constantly amaze me angel." he said and went to pick up his son. Madeline went and opened the door to let in Mouse and Sylvie.

"You have a new brother and sister." Madeline said to them.

"Two of them?" Sylvie asked surprised. Mouse's eyes were round with surprise and awe as he looked from one baby to the other.

"It seems that we were both right a son and a daughter." Erik was beaming. All his fears had come to naught, both babies were perfect. "All right children it's been a long night. Jenny is very tired. Run off to bed now." He said as he saw Mouse try to stifle a yawn. It would be dawn soon. It had indeed been a long night and I was exhausted. I held our daughter to my breast while Erik sat gazing at our son, tracing his face with his finger.

"It's a good thing that we have another bassinet downstairs." The ever practical Madeline said. "Erik why don't you go downstairs and get it I'll take the babe." She said. Erik reluctantly handed our son to her and went without a word. By the time, he returned our daughter was in her bed and our son was at my other breast. Madeline took her leave bundling the used sheets in her arms. Erik went over and gazed at our sleeping daughter then came and sat on the side of the bed watching our son at my breast. He leaned over and kissed me, smiling.

"They are so beautiful. You never cease to surprise me. Twins." he said softly as he traced our son's tiny ear with his finger. I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"You're surprised, I had no idea. I thought our child was going to be exceedingly large, then when the pains came so early. I was a bit afraid myself." I admitted. Erik's hand paused and he turned my face to me, his eyes searching my face with a frown.

"You never said anything." He said

"You were worried enough already. You didn't need anything more to worry about." Just then, our son released his hold on my breast and twitching his hand open and closed a few times, fell asleep. Erik gently took him from me and placed him in his bed, smiling down at him. He came to me, pulled the covers up under my chin, and kissed me again.

"Now you need to sleep." He said quietly and I wasn't going to object.

The screaming of little lungs awakened us. Erik went to pick up our son and the look of horror on his face when his hand came in contact with a wet bottom was priceless. He hastily put him back down and ran for the door calling for Madeline in a panic. Madeline came running into the room pulling on her robe.

"What is it Erik is something wrong!" she cried. Erik just pointed at the squalling babes in dismay.

"They...They're Wet!" He cried in dismay. I couldn't help it I just started laughing. Madeline smiled.

"Well of course they're wet. What did you expect?" She said as she picked up our son and proceeded to change his diaper. "You could help by changing your daughter's diaper you know."

"But, but..." the look of absolute terror never left his face. I was still laughing.

"MEN!" Madeline exclaimed as she handed me my son so I could feed him. She then went and changed our daughter's diaper. "Here you can at least hold her until her brother finishes." She handed the tiny baby to him and she shook her head gathering up the dirty diapers and left. Erik stood making ssshing noises as he gently rocked the baby in his arms. She quieted for a moment and he beamed but then she started in again. Desperately he started to sing her a lullaby. Her squalling quieted into little fussing noises and Erik started to relax. Cautiously he sat into the chair near the bed softly rocking while he sang an adoring look on his face as he watched his small daughter wiggle in his arms. I looked down at our son as he released his hold and hiccupped a little.

"Erik, do you want to take your son now? He needs to be burped, make sure you put something over your shoulder or you'll be sorry." He looked a little befuddled as he looked from his daughter, who started squalling again, and looked around until he saw a stack of diapers. He got up and put a diaper over his shoulder and then we went through the awkward baby transfer. I hoped that over time it would become easier. I watched as Erik held his son to his shoulder and gently rubbed his back and when the baby burped, he looked so proud. Over a burp. He sat down again, this time rocking his son a goofy kind of happy look on his face that suddenly changed to horror.

"What the..." he said jumping up as his one hand jerked away from the spreading wetness of the diaper, gingerly laying the baby down. His son's little lungs filled and he started screaming.

"Erik you're just going to have to get used to it." I said laughing. "Babies are frequently wet, messy, and noisy. It is a simple fact of life. You might just as well learn how to change them. With two babies I'm going to need all the help I can get." I said wearily. I was still very tired. Erik looked up at me, a little frown between his eyes.

"I'm sorry love, of course your right." He swallowed looking at his son and went about attempting to change him. Madeline came in with a breakfast tray, took one look at Erik and rolled her eyes.

"Not like that." she said in exasperation. Putting the tray down, she went over to him. "You do it like this." She said as she showed him how. "Now next time I expect you to know how." Erik smiled sheepishly.

"Yes mother." He said cheekily and she slapped his arm playfully. She put the baby in his bassinet, and came and got my daughter.

"You two need to eat something. I'll take care of them for now." Erik went to the tray and placed it over my lap. While we ate, Madeline took care of our daughter and then left. When we finished eating Erik helped me up and supported me as he walked me to the wc. When I came out, he carefully walked me back.

"How are you feeling?" he asked tenderly brushing hair out of my face.

"Quite, quite tired and quite, quite sore, but also quite, quite happy." I said and smiled putting my hand gently to his face. He turned his face to my hand and kissed it. His thumb brushed my cheek and he leaned over softly kissing me.

"Sleep now. I need to go and see exactly what needs to be done to clean up and rebuild the stable. Do you want me to send Madeline in to sit with you?"

"No just leave the door open so she can hear if the babies start to cry." I said as I settled back into my pillows.

I don't know how long I slept, but the sound of whispering gradually wakened me. I turned my head and opened my eyes. Sylvie and Mouse were standing over the babies watching them sleep.

"I think they're awfully little Mouse." she said softly. He signed something to her. I couldn't see what from the position he was standing. "Yes I think he might be a little bit bigger her."

"Sylvie, Mouse, come here." I said as I set up and held out my arms. Mouse jumped and Sylvie's jaw dropped.

"We didn't want to wake you Mama." She said as they came over for a hug.

"That's alright. So, what do you think of your new brother and sister."

"They're awfully little."

"That's because they were early and there are two of them. Not as much room to grow." I told them as one of them woke and started to cry.

"Go and find Madeline or Papa Erik for me okay?" The children nodded and ran off. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I grabbed my robe and wobbled over to the bassinets. I reached down, picked up my son and took him to the changing table, then proceeded to change his diaper. When I finished I sat in the chair and held him to my breast, I was feeding the greedy little bugger when Erik's arm slid around my shoulder, his chin resting on my shoulder as he watched our son nurse.

"Sylvie said you wanted help." He said softly.

"Well I figured that if one woke the other wouldn't be far behind." Just then, our daughter decided to exercise her lungs. Erik gave me a quick squeeze and took a deep breath.

"Well wish me luck." He said with a crooked smile. I sat watching him as he hesitantly went through the motions of changing our daughter. I watched, biting my lip to keep from laughing. He really was trying very hard and making it much more difficult than it was. Finally, he picked her up carefully and turned to me proudly. He threw a diaper over his shoulder and stood gently rocking her until I told him it was her turn. He brought her over and we again went through the awkward baby transfer. After burping our son, he started singing the same lullaby to our son that he had sung to our daughter. He had such a beautiful voice. Madeline and the children came in just as I had finished feeding our daughter. She was carrying another chair. She placed it next to the one I was sitting in.

"Okay children, it's time we named the babies." Erik said. "First our son, we have decided that he be named after Jenny's father." I looked at him in astonishment for we had not made any such decision. He remembered what had brought me to him in the first place and decided to honor the man he had never met.

"My father's name was Nathaniel James." I said swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Nathaniel James des Ombres it shall be. Now for our daughter, we shall take a _serious_..." and Erik frowned at Mouse. "Name from each of you, you first Mouse." Mouse looked at Sylvie and she nodded at him. They obviously had worked this out between them. He reached for the small slate that always hung around his neck. He wrote the name he chose. "Carrie" though he did not say it I suspected it to be the name of the mother he could barely remember.

"Carrie, very well, and your choice, Sylvie, for the second name?"

"Elisabeth. Carrie Elisabeth." She said smiling.

And so it was our twins became Nathaniel James and Carrie Elisabeth des Ombres.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

August to September 1875

It was wonderful having so much help. With two babies I was often exhausted keeping up with diaper changes, nursing, cuddling but Madeline and even Erik made it easier. The children wanted to help too, so Madeline would let them help when she would change a diaper, and sometimes if they were sitting in a chair, we would let them hold one of the babies.

Three weeks after the babies were born I walked into the nursery. Erik had a silly little grin on his mouth as he cuddled his daughter. He was holding her in his arm and she had one tiny hand holding his finger while he made little cooing noises. I stood watching for a minute, he was so gentle with his children. I went over and put my arm around his waist. He smiled down at me.

"I told you, a little angel just like her mother." He said.

"I was right too you know. Can't forget your son." I said grinning.

"I would never do that." Just then, our daughter announced that she was hungry yet again. Erik handed her to me and I sat down in the chair and held her to my breast. Erik dropped down to his knee and gently brushed her cheek with his finger as she nursed. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek then smiled as he watched her. Our son chose that moment to announce he wanted a diaper change. With a sigh, Erik stood up and went to change his son. I sat rocking gently back and forth watching him. He had just unpinned the diaper and was reaching for a clean one when he suddenly jumped back swearing. I could not help it I just broke out laughing. Our son had just anointed Erik, initiating him into the roll of fatherhood. He stood shaking his hand for a moment, glaring at me and quickly grabbed a clean diaper and finished the job, then washed his hand grumbling all the time.

"I'm sorry darling I just couldn't help it. The look on your face." I still chuckled. He scowled at me and then I saw the corners of his mouth twitch and his good eye crinkle as he tried to keep from smiling but he couldn't help it and soon he was laughing too. He brought Nathaniel to me and we exchanged babies. It was getting easier. He put Carrie to his shoulder and burped her then he pulled the other chair over next to me and sat down. Softly he started singing to her. She wiggled a bit and soon fell asleep. He sat rocking her until his son was finished nursing and then got up and laid her gently in her bassinet and came and took our son, singing to him as well. Finally, they were both asleep and we stood watching them. Erik wrapped his arms around me and rubbed his cheek against the top of my head his hand came up and started caressing my neck and playing with a wayward curl.

"Where are the children?" he asked softly.

"Madeline took them into town with her to do the marketing." He was quiet, yet I could feel the tension in his body. I craned my head up to look at him. He was biting his lower lip, a slight frown between his eyes and an unspoken question written on his face. I turned to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes." I whispered as I softly kissed him. He slowly unbuttoned my dress and pulled it off my shoulders, kissing them softly. I stepped out of my dress, my chemise and drawers soon followedand he picked me up and carried me to the bed. His clothes soon joined mine on the floor and he lay next to me rediscovering my body.

"I've missed this angel." He said with a devilish grin. "You have turned me into a greedy beast. I was becoming jealous of our babes, their mouths where mine belong." He said as his lips brushed the tip of my breast, gently sucking. His hand slid down, caressing my stomach, slowly downward, repossessing my body with his touch, until he had me writhing. Then he joined with me ever so carefully, afraid that he might hurt still tender flesh. With great restraint, he slowly moved his hips rocking gently at first but with increasing urgency. Our starved flesh eager for each other, burning for each other until we lay limply in each other arms, one of his hands playing with a curl behind my ear, the other softly stroking my arm, he tenderly kissed my temple.

"I can't believe that less than two years ago I was all alone, wishing for death. Now I have a wife who is the angel of my heart, two adopted children that opened my eyes to possibilities and two wonderful babes created from our love. A love I never thought possible. Sometimes I think it's all a dream and I'll wake up and it'll all be gone." He whispered. I nuzzled my head against him and put my arm across his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere. I told you once that I would stay until you asked me to leave." I murmured as I softly ran kisses down his chest. He gently cupped my face, looking into my eyes intently.

"That request will never happen. I don't know what I would do if you were to ever leave me angel." and he pulled me to him desperately, squeezing me in a tight embrace, frantically raining small kisses down the side of my face and to my mouth. Running his tongue lightly across my lips and then kissing deeper, ever more insistent.

Later, we were awakened by two sets of shrill lungs screaming. Erik looked at me.

"Which do you want to take, him or her?" He said as he smiled.

"Shall we toss a coin?" I teased. He just grunted as he got up and put his robe on. I got up and followed suit.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

November 1875

November found the trees almost void of their colorful leaves of red and gold in the cold, gusting wind. Our new stable was nearly complete and it was better than the original. Of course, Erik had designed it. He would supervise from the shadows, passing his instructions to the workers through Antoine or Pierre. After they left for the day, he would go and inspect their work to make sure it was up to his specifications.

This month marked one year since Mouse and Sylvie had been with us, although Mouse had come to us a month before Sylvie, we had decided to celebrate on the same day and we were planning a little party. Just Madeline, the children, and us. Mouse and Sylvie knew nothing about it. Since the babies had taken up so much of our time and attention, we wanted them to know that they were as much a part of the family as the babies were. They were our children as well as far as we were concerned.

From the kitchen window I watched Erik's tall figure stalk up the path to the house, cape flapping in the wind. In the gloom, I could barely make out the mask that he chose to wear when supervising the work. It was the flesh colored one that he chose, one as different from that other persona as possible. I poured a cup of hot coffee for him to help him warm up. Supper would be ready soon and the babies would be waking from their nap. He came in the door, pulling the cape off. He shook it and then hung it on a peg by the door.

"Here love take this and stand by the fire you look positively frozen." I said. He took the cup gratefully in both hands and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"Thank you angel, it is rather icy. I think it might snow tonight. Where are the children?"

"They are with Madeline doing some schoolwork."

"Is everything ready for tomorrow?" he asked as he gulped down his coffee.

"Yes and they don't suspect a thing." I said. He came over and sat the cup down on the table then held me to him. I put my arm around his waist and rested my cheek against his chest.

"That's what you thought last Christmas remember?" He chuckled as he wrapped his fingers in my hair, lowering his head and brushing his lips across the top of my head.

"Want to go call them to supper? I just have to finish setting the table. Maybe I can get a few bites before the babies wake. It's uncanny how they know just when I'm sitting down to eat." He let me go and gulped down the rest of the coffee, hugged me and then went to find Madeline and the children. I had just finished putting the food on the table when the children, then Madeline trailed in.

"The babes are awake, Jenny. Erik is changing them now. He said for you to eat he'll entertain them for now."Madeline said.I sighed.

"Two squalling babes can rattle anyone. I'll take a tray for us and we can eat in our rooms." I fixed our plates and went on up. I was right, both babies were vocalizing at full blast. Erik had a rather desperate look on his face while rocking one baby in his arms and trying to sing to them at the same time.

"Erik, I know your heart is in the right place but you should know by now that when they want to be fed nothing is going to stop them from letting the world know it. Not even your wonderful voice." I smiled and held my arms out for Nathaniel. Erik, looking somewhat relieved handed him to me and then picked up our daughter. Crooning to her, he wiggled his finger and she grabbed it pulling it to her little mouth. After the babies had their supper, we had ours and then we went to bed.

The next morning dawned cold and bleak. I woke and burrowed myself against the warmth of Erik's body, my head on his shoulder. He rolled over on his side and wrapped his arm around me, his fingers playing gently with my hair.

"Morning angel, sleep well?" He asked softly his hand gently stroking down my back as he kissed the top of my head.

"Mmmm." I mumbled nuzzling his chest. I lifted my face to his searching lips, reaching my hand up to caress his face. I was no longer cold. My mouth opened at his insistence, our hands gently caressing and exploring, heat rising as our bodies joined.

A short time later, the shrill voice of first one, then the other twin set in. Erik stilled and groaned into my shoulder and rolled over. Wiping sweat from his brow and closing his eyes he muttered a few well placed expletives and sat up. Reaching for his robe, he got up and stumbled to Nathaniel's bassinet, stubbing his toe in the process. More colorful expletives flowed from his mouth. Frowning he picked up his son. With a sigh, I got up as well, my body unfulfilled, I felt like uttering a few expletives myself and I wondered if we would ever get a moment of peace.

After breakfast, we sent the children on a series of errands so that we could get things set up. We had bought a pony for each of the children. A chocolate mare with flaxen mane and tail for Sylvie and a dark gray gelding with a wide blaze for Mouse. Madeline had brand new sets of riding clothes. The gifts were wrapped and set at the base of the piano; we had wrapped the ponies' bridles and put them next to Madeline's gifts. They would have to go out to the stables after they opened their gifts.

We were in the kitchen when they finally came in. Sylvie, crutch under one arm was carrying a basket of eggs. Mouse had an armful of firewood. He threw it into the woodbin and turned as he took his cloak off, brushing his sleeves, and met Erik's glare. Mouse gulped, I could tell he was wondering what it was he had done wrong. Sylvie noticed and looked at Erik also meeting his frown.

"Papa Erik, what is it." She said in dismay, glancing at Madeline and myself. I buried my face in my apron, brushing away imaginary flour while hiding my face. Madeline quickly turned her back to hide the corners of her mouth that were twitching.

"Come, I'll show you!" Erik said sternly and led them toward the music room. The children glanced at each other in sudden fear. What had they done do win their beloved Papa Erik's displeasure. We trailed down the hall, across the foyer and to the music room. Eric pulled the doors opened and stood aside gesturing for them to precede him. They looked up at him hesitantly as they trailed passed him. He cleared his throat and glanced at me momentarily. I saw the glint in his eye and the crinkle at the corner of it that was a dead giveaway. The children turned and there before them were the gifts. Their eyes grew round in disbelief and then they looked at Erik who was by now smiling broadly.

"Go ahead open them. The rest of the day is yours to do as you wish." They opened Madeline's gifts first admiring the new clothes, and then unwrapped their new leather bridles, puzzlement growing on their faces with each gift.

"You each have a new pony waiting for you in the stable." I said. The children ran to us and happily gave each of us a hug and a kiss.

"As soon as we have lunch we can go and see your new ponies." I said. We went to the kitchen and had a special lunch with all the children's favorites. For a change, the babies actually waited until after lunch before demanding theirs. When the babies had been taken care of Madeline said she would stay with them so we could take Sylvie and Mouse to see their ponies. We bundled up and stepped out into the frosting of snow. The wind had thankfully stopped blowing. Mouse skipped along in front of us, Sylvie not far behind him, her twisted leg barely hindering her as she swung her crutch in counterbalance. I grabbed Erik's hand and smiled up at him. Laughing I started running pulling Erik along with me. We caught up to the children and slowed to a walk. The children went in looking around for their ponies.

The jarring note of someone singing in a slurring, drunken voice assaulted our ears. We exchanged glances, and ran through the door; no one was supposed to be here today. Up in the loft Henri, one of the workers who had been hired to help rebuild the stable was belting out a song as he precariously walked the edge. Sylvie stood just below looking up with her mouth open in surprise. Just then, Henri lost his balance and fell against a stack of timbers. It seemed that they fell almost in slow motion straight toward Sylvie.

"NO!" Erik shouted as he dove for Sylvie. Covering her body with his as the timbers came crashing down upon them. I found myself screaming.

"ERIK, SYLVIE, oh Lord no!"

I grabbed Mouse's sleeve as he tried to run passed and pulled him to me. We could not do anything until the timbers stopped falling. Tears ran down my face as I clutched Mouse.

"Mouse run to Antoine's house and get help! We'll never be able to get them out ourselves and that... that person..." words failed me as a knot formed in my throat. "Run Mouse, run." He nodded glancing fearfully at the mound of timbers settling as he took off running. That left me alone with my fears. I cautiously approached.

"Erik, Erik can you hear me?" I shouted the lump catching in my throat. There was no answer. I didn't dare try to move anything for fear of making things worse. All I could do was to wait. Time seemed to drag by. I kept calling Erik and Sylvie's names hoping there would be an answer and despairing when there was none.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

November 1875

Finally, I heard horses and a wagon racing up the road. I ran to the stable doors Antoine and Mouse had brought two other men. Antoine rushed passed me to take in the situation.

"Please Antoine; Erik and Sylvie are both trapped." I sobbed. "I don't even know if they're alive or dead!"

"Right now, the best thing that you can do is to stay out of the way and let us take care of this madam. Pierre went to fetch the doctor. They should be back soon."

Mouse crept close to me and grabbed my hand. I looked down at him. His eyes were red and tears streaked down his face. I knelt down and pulled him to me, hugging him tightly. He started patting my back as if to comfort me. We sat like that, as we watched the men working, removing the broken and shattered timbers. After a bit I pulled back from Mouse and looked at him.

"Mouse, go and tell Madeline, she needs to know as well and…" I stopped for a moment unable to go on. Mouse patted my shoulder and looked at me sadly.

"They'll be alright." He signed.

"Yes of course they will be." I said and I kissed his cheek and sent him on his way. Soon I heard another carriage rattling down the lane. It was Pierre and Dr. Latimer. Antoine's wife, Delia was with them as well.

"Oh my dear I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" she asked as she approached me.

"Could you watch my babies for a moment? Madeline must be beside herself wondering what's going on." I begged.

"Of course dear, I'll go immediately." with that, she briskly marched up the path to the house.

"What happened?" I jumped slightly. I had not noticed the doctor approach me, I was so intent on the progress of the men clearing the debris.

"A drunken sot was messing around up there and fell against the timbers. My husband tried to shield our daughter and they are both buried under that." I choked back a sob and bit my lower lip trying to hold back more tears. I looked around for Henri but he seemed to have disappeared. Suddenly I heard shouts and ran toward the men, the doctor at my side. Madeline came running into the barn, out of breath.

"Oh, Mon Dieu no!" She said as they cleared the last of the debris to see Erik's battered body. The doctor knelt next to his crumpled form. He was curled protectively over Sylvie's still form, one small arm peeking from underneath his body. Blood ran down his face. I was biting my fist as I watched the doctor, dreading his words. Madeline put her arms around me. Time seemed to stand still.

"Well they're alive." The doctor finally announced. I suddenly found myself on the ground, my legs refusing to support me my relief was so great. "The girl should be fine as soon as she wakes thanks to your husband. She just has a bump on her head, she might have a slight concussion but she will be fine in a few days.

"Erik?" I whispered.

"Several broken ribs, broken arm, nasty head wound, probable concussion, various cuts and lacerations. We need to get him to the house." Before moving Erik though, he had to set Erik's arm and bind his ribs. They then carefully moved Sylvie and Erik onto boards so they could be moved to the house, and I ran ahead to open the door for them. Madeline showed them where to put Sylvie while I led them to our room. The babies were crying when we reached the room. Delia was holding Nathaniel, she had already moved Carrie to the room Erik had originally thought to be a sewing room and was instead now to be the nursery, and she was in the process of moving him. The sound of the baby crying triggered yet another response and I looked desperately from the babe to Erik. The doctor was reaching for the mask.

"Doctor, please, my husband is very sensitive about his face, my father was a doctor and I can tend his facial injuries please just worry about his other wounds." I said desperately. He turned and looked at me sympathetically.

"Madame, I understand your concern, but let me do my job. Believe me whatever lies behind his mask can be no worse than anything else I may have seen. Your babies need your attention now. There's nothing that you can do here at the moment." Knawing my lip I looked at Erik's battered form once again and then fled the room. The sooner the babes were fed, the sooner I could return.

After I had taken care of the babes, and feeling guilty, I went to Sylvie's room to see how she was. Her pale face now sported a purple bruise under her eye and lump on her forehead. Her eyes opened as I came through the door.

"Mama, nobody will tell me about Papa Erik. Please tell me, is he okay?" Tears formed in her big blue eyes her lower lip trembling.

"Oh baby he'll be just fine." I said as I sat on the side of the bed. Brushing a blonde curl out of her face, I then took her small hand in mine. "It'll take him awhile but he'll be just fine. How are you feeling dear?"

"Head hurts." She said closing her eyes, relaxing now that she knew her Papa Erik would be okay. I sat with her until she drifted off to sleep. Softly I got up and went to my room, praying that I had not just lied to Sylvie. The doctor was still waiting there for me.

"I've done everything I can for him now. It's up to him now. The sooner he wakes up the better. I'll be back to check on him tomorrow." He hesitated a moment. "I thought I heard that he'd been in a fire?" My heart dropped and I could feel my face blanch. I was speechless. He looked at my face seriously. "Do not worry madam. What is between a doctor and patient stays there and he did save your daughter's life at the risk of his own." he said gently.

"Thank you doctor." I said in relief as he left. I went to the side of the bed looking down at Erik. Besides the bindings on his ribs, his left arm was splinted and bound. A deep gash on his right leg was stitched and the whole left side of his beautiful face was bruised and swollen.

"How is he my dear?" Madeline said coming to stand beside me.

"Dr Latimer said it was up to him now. Oh Madeline if anything..." I stopped, biting down on my lip at the sudden lump in my throat.

"He's a strong man. He'll be fine, don't worry." she said patting my hand. "It's going to be a long night. I will take care of anything the babes need other than feeding so you can concentrate on Erik. Call me if you need anything." She said as she left the room. I took a cloth and dipped it in cold water then gently bathed Erik's poor face, trying to bring down the swelling.

"Erik love you have to be alright." I whispered. I moved the chair closer to the bed and took his right hand in mine, kissing it as I held it to my face. I don't know how long I sat like that but the dimness of the room gradually drew my notice. I got up to light some lamps and put more wood on the fire when a small movement next to the fireplace drew my attention.

"Mouse how long have you been there?" I asked startled. He shrugged as he huddled by the fire looking so forlorn. "Come here. He is going to be just fine." I held out my arms he came and we sat hugging each other for a moment. "Now why don't you go and check on Sylvie for a moment. If she is awake, she might be feeling lonely. I'll let you know if he wakes okay." Mouse nodded and left. I went over to close the drapes and again I took a cloth, gently bathing his face. He moaned and his hand grabbed my wrist his face grimacing in pain as he gradually opened his eyes.

"What happened?" he groaned. He tried to sit up, gasping in sudden pain, but I pushed him back.

"You saved Sylvie's life that's what happened. And now you have a broken arm, broken ribs, and various other injuries besides your face being an alarming assortment of colors." I said as tears of joy filled my eyes. "Oh Erik we were all so scared." I took his hand and held it in both of mine.

"I think I'm going to be sick." He said and I quickly grabbed a basin as he emptied his stomach, when he was finished he lay back limply holding his hand up to his head. I went a dumped the basin and came back to his side. I pulled his hand down and again attempted to bathe his face. He hissed in pain.

"Sorry love but we need to get the swelling down. Do you want some laudanum?" He looked at me blearily and shook his head.

"That stuff is too addictive. I will do without." He said stubbornly. "How's Sylvie?" he asked.

"Better than you, she has a knot on her head and she has a black eye but thanks to you she'll be just fine in a day or two." he closed his eyes in relief. I gently brushed a strand of hair from his brow. "Let me tell the others you're awake, they've been worried." I said and went to the door to tell the others.

The next few days were trying indeed. Between the twins and Erik, I was running myself ragged. Erik was quite the beast when unable to do for himself. His temper flaring at everyone for the smallest thing, of course his being in a great deal of pain did not help any. The children stayed away from him when he was in his blackest moods. Everyone walked on eggshells around him. I understood but I had my limits. I had just finished adjusting his pillows and Madeline handed me his lunch tray, as I placed it over his lap his injured arm hit the corner of the tray. Grimacing in pain, he started swearing at me and with his good hand threw the tray to the floor. It was the last straw and I fled the room in tears. I could hear Madeline yelling at him as I left.

"You're a fool Erik! She's been working herself to the bone for you and..." that was all I heard before the door slammed behind me. I ran for the babies' room. I knew it was just frustration but it hurt all the same. I stood for a few moments watching our sleeping babies. The door opened a little while later and Madeline came in.

"He doesn't mean it you know." She said quietly.

"I know. It's just...I'm so tired all the time now."

"I cleaned up after the bear, why don't you go and lie down for a bit. I'm sure he has something he'd like to say to you." I nodded hesitantly. I really did need to get some sleep. I slowly went down the hall and opened the bedroom door. Looking down I turned and carefully closed the door. I turned toward the bed and found Erik looking at me rather sheepishly. He glanced away and then back his eyes searching my face. I turned away as I slipped my dress off and exchanged it for a nightgown, neither of us breaking the silence. I turned back to the bed and he was looking down eyes closed, a remorseful look on his face. He looked at me again and held his hand out to me, his eyes pleading.

"Please forgive me angel." He whispered. I went to the bed, taking his hand while I climbed in next to him. I looked at him, leaned over, and lightly kissed his lips, the one uninjured place on his poor face.

"Always love." I whispered back. He reached up and gently wiped the tear from the corner of my eye. He reached his arm around me and pulled me close. I carefully snuggled against his chest, his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"I can't believe I yelled at you. I thought that I had finally learned how to rein in my horrible temper. I am so sorry angel. You are married to a beast."

"It's just because you are in such pain and frustrated because you can't play your music. I understand it just got to me is all." I said. His fingers gently traced patterns on my arm as he gingerly rubbed his face against my hair and I drifted off to sleep.

Several hours later, I woke. Groggily I opened my eyes and looked up at Erik's face. He had a tender smile, his eyes soft.

"I love watching you sleep. You look so peaceful." a slight pained look marred his smile just then. He still had his arm around me. I figured he would not be able to use it for a while, at least until it got some feeling back. I sat up and he gingerly moved his arm.

"Serve's you right for not moving it." I said. "Here let me." I carefully started rubbing the kinks out of his arm and shoulder. He kept staring at me a small frown furrowed between his eyes.

"You never told me. What happened to Henri?" he said with a dangerous note in his voice, his eyes turning to ice.

"He disappeared. No one has been able to find him. I for one hope he never comes back." I said studying Erik's face, watching as the danger faded from his eyes, the tension eased from his shoulders. He met my eyes, searching to see if he was truly forgiven and saw what he hoped to see. He pulled me to him and wincing a bit, buried his face in my neck.

"I'm so sorry angel. I never want to make you cry." He said his voice catching.

"Sssh love, it's over now. It's just too bad we can't make up properly." I said teasingly. "And not for some time unfortunately." I sighed.

"I'm going to remember every quarrel we may have between now and when I finally get out of all these bindings we'll makeup properly." He promised.

"My poor baby, you should see your face." I said as I sat studying him. He demanded a mirror and when he saw himself, he closed his eyes.

"You are truly married to a monster now." He said turning his face.

"Never love, it's just temporary. I would love you no matter what. You are quite the hero you know. Sylvie's hero and my Prince Charming." and I smiled at him.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

December 1875

A few weeks later and the bindings were finally coming off Erik's ribs. His face still sported a variety of colors ranging from purple to green to yellow, but they were finally starting to fade. He was still quite a remarkable sight. It would l be a couple of weeks yet before his arm could be unbound however and the inability to pursue his craft had him frustrated. He stalked around like a caged panther but he was making a monumental effort at controlling his frustration. He still gave the children their music lessons to the best of his ability with just one useable arm. He went back to supervising the completion of the stable, never failing to inquire as to whether there was any news of Henri. I feared what he might do if Henri was found.

The first time that he returned from the stable, he was in a black mood but wouldn't talk about what had put him in such a mood. I assumed that it was the thought of what could have happened to Sylvie if he hadn't reached her in time. In time his mood lightened somewhat.

Christmas was coming soon and we had a lot to do. We were going to have a tree for the first time and Madeline, the children and I had a lot of ornaments and decorations to make.

Christmas morning broke crisp and clear. Erik was just getting up, scratching furiously at his arm.

"I can't take this a moment longer Jenny. Get it off me. Surely it's healed by now." He said in irritation. I suppressed a smile.

"Very well, come here." I said. He sat in the chair in front of me and I carefully unbound his arm. When the last of the bindings came, off I ran my hand down it checking it to make sure it was healed. When I was done, he cautiously straightened it rubbing it. Then with a grin, he reached up and pulled me into his lap.

"Ah, now I can hold you properly." he said as rubbed his cheek against my hair. "I missed being able to hold you." He laughed and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Uh, Erik the babies need to be fed and the children are probably waiting impatiently to open their gifts." I laughed as he nuzzled my neck sending shivers up my spine.

"You did promise me there would be many children right? At this rate there won't be any more children." He laughed as he released me from his lap. His humor was definitely returning.

When we left our room, we caught the children trying to sneak downstairs.

"No sneaking and peeking at gifts till after breakfast." Erik said smiling at Mouse and Sylvie.

"But Papa Erik..."Sylvie started to say but realized that though he was smiling, he meant it. Sighing, she and Mouse exchanged resigned looks and proceeded to go downstairs to the kitchen.

"I'll go and make sure that they stay in the kitchen." Madeline said as she came from her room. "They can help me get breakfast started. I see that your arm is finally free Erik, maybe there will be some peace in the house now." She said with a grin as she followed the children. Erik followed me into the nursery and while I changed and fed one baby, he changed and then cradled the other in his arms. He had really missed being able to hold his babes. After we had taken care of the babies, we carried them downstairs and put them in the cradles we had placed in the music room. We then went to breakfast and two impatient children who just toyed with their food fidgeting in their seats, to excited to eat. Finally, we relented and the children hurried to the music room.

We had sat the tree up next to the piano in the music room. It looked quite festive festooned with strands of popcorn, papier-mâché and painted wooden ornaments, and paper snowflakes. Underneath was an assortment of presents of varying sizes even the babies had gifts. Erik waited until everyone had chosen a place to sit and then proceeded to pass out the presents. Our gifts to each other were last. He handed me a long thin box and I handed him a smaller box. He watched me anxiously as I untied the ribbon and opened the box. Inside was a beautiful necklace of crystal butterflies alternating blue and white, with matching earrings.

"Oh Erik they're beautiful," I said holding them up.

"Are you sure you like them angel?" he asked as he took the necklace and placed it around my neck. "I couldn't make you anything this time."

"Erik these are perfect and I would love anything you gave me." I said as I turned and kissed him. "Now, your turn, open yours." I said and he untied the ribbon on the gift I had given him. He opened it and pulled out the pocket watch that lay inside. "Open it, it's inscribed." I said.

He opened it and read the inscription "To my man of the shadows, my love, and my life. Though the hands on the watch may slow then stop our love never shall. Love, your wife, Jenny."

"I shall cherish it angel." He said and hugged me to him kissing me softly. We broke apart at the sound of giggling. Sylvie was giggling and Mouse was holding his hand over his mouth, covering his silent laughter, then they hugged us thanking us for the gifts we had given them and went off to play. Madeline and I went to work on Christmas supper and Erik went to work the stiffness from his fingers by running through scales on the piano. I had not realized how much I had missed his playing.

Later after supper, we all gathered in the music room. I was holding Carrie, and Madeline was holding Nathaniel while Erik and the children were playing Christmas carols. We were all singing and even the babes seemed to enjoy the music. It had been a lovely day. Finally, it was time for the children to go to bed. Erik went to tuck them in and Madeline and I carried the twins upstairs. It was time for their evening feed and a diaper change.

I had just finished feeding the babies and was putting Carrie in her bassinet when Erik came in.

"Sylvie and Mouse are waiting for you to kiss them goodnight." He said as he came to stand next to me looking down at the babes.

"I'm headed that way now." I said as I turned for the door. Erik reached out, grabbed my arm, and pulling me against him, crushed his lips against mine. I was breathless when he released me.

"I'll be waiting for you." He whispered as he released me, hunger in his eyes. I smiled up at him, a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach and spreading in anticipation.

"I won't be long." I whispered back. When I returned to our room, Erik had just finished undressing, he stood watching me as I slowly undressed, his attraction readily apparent. He came behind me and began massaging my neck and shoulders.

"I promised that we would make up properly when I was free from my bindings." He said huskily as he lifted my hair and placed his lips to the base of my neck sending shivers through my body. He nipped my earlobe and brushed my cheek with his lips. "I missed holding you my angel." he whispered and turned me to him crushing his lips to mine, his tongue demanding entrance. Flame engulfed my body at his touch, my need matching his. I took his throbbing length in my hand stroking, massaging. Erik led me to the bed; we climbed in together and again reached for each other. His hand strayed down to my breasts, lightly brushing them, teasing them into rigid peaks. His hands continued down, running lightly along the inside of my thigh on up to my center. His fingers found entrance and under their ministrations, he soon had me gasping. He turned his attention back to my breast, kissing, sucking and licking. Erik then groaned and grabbing my thighs, he drove himself into me, pumping slowly, deeply. Flame threatened to consume me but then he eased his way back out. My body was screaming for the release that he withheld from me. He kissed me, inhaling my breath, nipping my lips, his hands caressing my breasts.

"Erik, please." I begged. "Now please."

"Not yet." he whispered. His lips gently nibbled and sucked at my neck, then my breasts and then down to the center of my longing. His tongue again brought me to the point of release and again abandoned me for my lips. Finally, he relented from his torturing me and slid deep within me plunging harder and deeper until at last wave after wave of fire burst forth. Looking deep into my eyes when my shudders slowed he renewed his efforts until with one last deep thrust he reached his peak, holding me close as he pulsed within me until he finally slipped gently from me. At last, exhausted he rolled to the side, pulling me against him and wrapping his arms around me, the flames momentarily quenched.

"Maybe we should fight more often angel." Erik said softly, pushing a sweat soaked lock of hair behind my ear.

"We don't really need any excuse love. Erik, when I thought I might have lost you…" I bit my lip as tears threatened.

"Sssh, love, I'm fine." He said and kissed my forehead, temple and then my mouth. Slowly he gently caressed me, murmuring soft endearments, and gentle kisses until I felt an unmistakable movement against my thigh. "Ready to do some more making up, angel? You promised there would be many more babies." He said a devilish glint in his eye. Already his length pushing against me in eagerness.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Thank you for the kind words! I really do appreciate any and all reviews. In fact I crave reviews! Please Please review._**

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Chapter 14

February 1876

February came in cold with drifts of snow on the ground. The babes were sitting up by themselves now and as the first teeth came in I decided it was time for them to start drinking from either a bottle or cup. Now, when the babies needed to be fed, someone else could feed them as well. It was a relief. Sylvie was happy to help in that chore and Erik, although grumbling about it and acting a bit put upon, delighted in feeding his babies, it could now be accomplished in half the time.

It was nearing our one year wedding anniversary. Erik spent much time behind the closed doors of his study.

"Are you ready for lunch Jenny?" Erik asked as came out of his study. I had been folding clothes but at his mention of food, I swallowed queasily.

"You go ahead I'm not really hungry." I said willing my stomach to settle.

"Are you all right? You haven't been eating breakfast lately either." He paused, a calculating look in his eyes. "When was your last monthly? You're not…?" He glanced down at my stomach the back to my eyes. His eyebrow cocked. "Are you…?" He asked softly.

"Excuse me a minute." I said covering my mouth as I ran for the wc. Erik was waiting at the door when I came out.

"In answer to your questions, I believe so." I said sitting down weakly.

"You weren't sick like this with the twins." He said worriedly.

"No pregnancy is the same love. Don't worry, it's quite common, it will pass." I tried to reassure him. He looked at me a moment and then pulled me to him brushing his check against the top of my head.

"Have I told you how much I love you angel?" He whispered.

"Not since this morning." I said smiling at him.

"Then it's overdue, I love you angel, but did you have to mean it when you said many children? The twins aren't even a year old yet." He said smiling.

"I think you had a little bit to do with that my love, all that making up we did."

"Can I help it if you are so beautiful that I just can't resist your charms?" He said grinning as he stood there rocking me gently back and forth. "Why don't you lie down a bit angel, maybe you'll feel better after a nap. I'll bring a tray up later, maybe some soup will help." He said as he led me to the bed, kissing my check before he left the room. I took his advice and lay down. I don't know how much later it was, but a loud whisper intruded upon my dreams.

"Papa Erik, she's still asleep. Should we wake her?" I heard Sylvie whisper.

"It's alright Sylvie I'm awake." I said and turned my head to look at her. Erik was standing there with a tray as he promised and Mouse was holding some flowers from the conservatory. Sylvie was standing there chewing on her lip.

"Mama we didn't mean to wake you. Papa Erik said you weren't feeling well, we just wanted to make you feel better."

"Oh Sylvie you did make me feel better. Thank you Mouse the flowers are beautiful." I said as he handed them out to me. "Why don't you put them in the vase on the nightstand and then come and give me a hug." I said and put my arms out to them.

"Mama we don't want you to be sick." Sylvie said sadly. I looked up at Erik and he nodded in agreement.

"I'm not really sick Sylvie. You and Mouse are going to have another brother or sister."

"Really, when Mama?" Sylvie asked excitedly. Mouse bounced on the bed to get my attention and held up two fingers in question. Erik groaned.

"Twins again? Lord I hope not." He laughed. "Those two are enough of a handful. In answer to your question it should be sometime in September. Now, let Jenny eat before her soup gets cold." He said as he shooed them from the room. He brought me the tray and put it over my lap. I looked at the soup willing my stomach to stay put.

"Try to eat a little angel." He asked softly. Cautiously I swallowed a spoonful and with the success of the mouthful, I tried another. Erik started pacing the room as I ate, dragging his hand through his hair. I watched him pace a few moments.

"Darling, please sit down you are making me nervous." I said. He turned and looked at me and the anguish in his eyes was apparent. "Love there is no more reason to believe this child will be any less perfect than the twins." I sat the tray aside and went to him, he wrapped me him his arms.

"I can't help my fears angel. I never want a child of mine put through what I was."

"But a child of ours would never have that experience. We would love it, as would the rest of the family. But it doesn't matter because that will never happen. You're going to have to get over your fear eventually. I promised you many children didn't I. At the rate, we're going there will indeed be many." I looked up to see the expression in his face. He cupped my face gazing at my eyes, traces of worry still there, and then he smiled.

"Could you try to be a little less fertile?" He chuckled. "I know you threatened me with many children, but you could at least wait until the preceding one is at least a year old. Not even married a year and already working on a second child." He said as he buried his face in my neck.

"I really think you have something to do with that you know. You just look at me and poof I'm with child." I said laughing and met his searching lips with my own.

"If that were true you would have been with child the first night we were together. How are you feeling now?" he asked as he led me to the chair. He sat down pulling me into his lap and cradling me against him.

"Much better, in fact I'm feeling very good right now." I said mischievously and subtly shifted my body, feeling him harden is answer to my move.

"You see what you do to me." He groaned and his lips found the base of my throat. My breath caught at the sensations his lips caused. He slid his hand up cupping my breast, sliding his thumb across its tip until it tightened under his touch. His fingers went to the buttons of my blouse and slowly released my breasts to his view. I leaned back offering them to his touch and he obliged by taking one nipple into his mouth, his tongue teasing, his mouth sucking. His hand slid down to my ankle, and reaching beneath my skirt slowly slid back up the inside of my leg. His hand went between my legs gently massaging through the material of my drawers and then reached up and started to slide them down. I lifted myself to make it easier for him, and brought my lips to his throat and then took possession of his mouth, my tongue demanding entrance his tongue meeting mine. His questing fingers again slid between my legs, and finding what he was seeking gently started rubbing with his thumb, his finger dipping deep inside. I gasped, pushing out to him, moaning as he brought me to a shuddering climax. I cradled his face kissing him deeply and then I slid from his lap between his legs, scattering kisses down his chest as I went. My hands slid to the hard ridge threatening to burst from his trousers, he groaned as my hand slid up its length, and then helped me free it from its prison pulling me back up he turned me from him and sliding my skirt up, he pulled me down upon him, filling me with his length. One hand gripped my breast and the other found that spot that drove me wild, until we were both panting, trembling with release. He brushed damp tendrils from my face, pressing kisses into my hair. When he eased out of me, he turned me to him, again cradling me to his damp chest.

"My poor angel, I don't give you a moments rest, do I. Ah but I do love you so." He said as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Do you hear me complaining love? I never can seem to get enough of you; your very touch turns to flame." I put my hand to his cheek and smiled. I pulled his face down to me, mouth opening to his questing tongue, and then he pulled back, his green eyes crinkling in humor.

"Promise me one thing." He said smiling. "No more twins. Please."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

February to July 1876

Our anniversary came and went followed by my birthday in March. Two more of Erik's exquisite hand carved music boxes, graced the shelves that Erik had built for them in our rooms. The twins were standing up and walking unsteadily when we held their hands. They had inherited their father's green eyes and brown hair; I thought Nathaniel especially resembled his father minus the deformity. Erik thought them incredibly gifted when banging on their toy xylophones. He swore they had the makings of musical genius. I let him believe, who was I to contradict the master and who knows I supposed it could be possible in time.

Winter turned to spring and in May, the babies actually spoke their first words. Erik was thrilled when Carrie's first word sounded like papa, his little daughter had him wrapped around her finger. One particularly fine day Erik came and asked if I cared to go for a picnic. I was feeling a bit tired and encouraged him to take Madeline, the children and the twins and I would lie down for a nap.

"Are you alright angel? You have seemed rather tired lately." Erik, ever the worrier asked.

"I'm fine love, just a little tired. You go ahead I'll just lie down and rest, maybe next time I'll join you. And take that frown off your face." I smiled and hugged his tall frame, his arms automatically wrapping around me. I looked up at him and his serious face. "I do love you Erik, now go and take our children and let me lie down." He still looked at me in concern, but leaned over and kissed me lightly.

"We won't be gone too long my angel." He promised.

"Don't hurry back for my sake. I'll just be sleeping, now go." I reached up, gave him another kiss, and shooed him away.

I did lie down and for a while I dozed, but my back began bothering me and finally I just couldn't lie there any longer. I got up and felt something sticky and wet on my legs, just then a severe cramp doubled me over. I looked down at myself in horror as I saw a spreading stain of red on my skirt; another intense cramp had me gasping.

"Oh my God no! Erik!" I cried and then remembered no one was home. I ran for the bathing room, grabbing a towel. I got out of my bloodstained skirt and secured the towel so that it could absorb the blood, then changed into a nightgown. I had to get help, I was five months along, I was losing my baby, and no one was home. I stood up and a wave of nausea struck me. I sat down on the edge of the tub and swallowed. Getting control of my stomach I slowly stood back up, if I could only get to the stable and get Pierre or Antoine to fetch the doctor. Another intense contraction doubled me over, gasping at the pain. I managed to get to the stairs and I stood at their head looking down; they seemed to waver, shifting back and forth. I grabbed the rail with both hands to try to steady myself, slowly moving step by step. I fell the last three steps and lay there unable to move, I was just too weak.

"Erik!" I screamed hopelessly, knowing he was to far away to hear, I began sobbing hysterically. A few minutes later the door opened and Erik sauntered in smiling, a handful of wildflowers in his hand. He was looking behind at whoever was there. He looked around and saw me lying on the floor, blood pooling beneath me.

"Jenny! No!" The flowers fell from his hand, scattering on the floor. He ran over and gathered me up shouting as he carried me up the stairs. "Mouse, Sylvie, run, have Antoine or Pierre get the doctor. Hurry!" I looked weakly at their frightened faces as they turned and ran. Madeline took in the situation in a glance.

"I'll put the twins down for their nap and I'll be right with you Erik." She said calmly but I could see the fear in her eyes. Erik turned and ran with me in his arms, up the stairs.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you angel. I knew something was wrong. My poor angel, so much blood. It'll be alright love, you'll be alright." He kept saying repeatedly. He lay me down.

"Erik, the baby." I cried weakly.

"Sssh angel." He said as he carefully slid my gown up and replaced the towel that I had secured there with another. It was soaked in minutes. I could see the stark fear in Erik's eyes as he again replaced the towel with another. Another intense and painful contraction and another change of towels was soon needed. Madeline came in and saw the pile of bloody towels. Her face went white and she ran from the room, returning shortly with a stack of fresh towels.

"I'll change the towels Erik; you just try to calm her, and yourself." Erik took a shuddering breath, looking down at his hands smeared with my blood. He looked at my pale face and took my hand in his, brushing my hair from my face. His face was white, fear written in his eyes, unshed tears pooling.

"Erik it's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done, it just wasn't meant to be." I cried, but I could see something in his eyes, some self-blame andI realizedwhat it was. To my shame, I did not say anything to deny it.

It seemed like hours before the doctor arrived. Erik refused to leave my side when the doctor tried to shoo him from the room.

"Look Monsieur, this is not going to be pleasant."

"I am not leaving my wife. Just do what needs to be done." Erik growled and took my hand in both of his, holding it up to his face.

"But…." the doctor started to say.

"There is no reasoning with him when he's like this doctor, believe me." Madeline said.

It seemed like hours later before the doctor finished. I had my eyes closed in exhaustion. They thought me asleep and I could hear them talking.

"There will still be some bleeding, that's normal, if there is an excessive amount send for me. She should be fine in time, and although you haven't asked yet, there should be no problem having other children." I did fall asleep then.

When I awoke again and remembered, a feeling of hopelessness filled me. Our baby was gone and nothing could bring it back. Tears filled my eyes and I turned my head to find Erik sitting in the chair next to the bed, his eyes staring into space.

"Erik, our baby…" I choked out before sobs began to wrack my body. He sat on the side of the bed and gathered me in his arms.

"Sssh angel. I know, I know. When I saw you lying there and all that blood…" his voice choked and he hugged me tighter, his body shaking as his sobs joined mine. There was a knock at the door and Madeline walked in. She took one look at us and turned.

"Now is not a good time children, maybe later." She said and closed the door; she stood there for a moment. "I'll just leave the tray here. Get her to eat Erik." Erik nodded and she came over and put a hand on each of our shoulders. "I am so sorry my dears." And she turned and left the room. Erik sat back and wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry angel, I promise you it won't ever happen again." and he pulled me to him again. My stomach did a little flip. I didn't like the sound of that promise. It was filled with grim resolve. Erik stood up and brought me the tray.

"Try and eat something love. You need to build your strength back." I sat looking at the tray; food was the last thing that I wanted.

"I'm not really hungry Erik, please take it away."

"Not until you eat something." He said grimly. "Even if I have to feed you myself." I looked at him and knew I had no choice. He would not rest until I ate something. Sighing I took a bite, the food tasted as ashes. I took a few bites and then asked him to take it away.

"Please Erik; I am just too tired right now." I said lying back and turning away from him. He took the tray and sat it aside and I heard him sit back down in the chair. I turned my head back to him; he was holding his head in his hands. "Erik, please come to bed I need you to hold me. Please." There was a catch in my voice as I thought that perhaps he would refuse. He looked up at me hesitantly and then leaned over and pulled off his boots and his trousers. Still in his under drawers and shirt, he climbed into bed and pulled me against him and we lay there in silence. I eventually fell into a restless sleep and when I woke, Erik was gone.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Thank you for liking my story! Sorry about the cliffhanger but it seemed a good place to stop. I probably should have mentioned it before but this story is rated M for a good reason, especially this one. Again thank you again it really encourages me when people review._**

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Chapter 16

May to July 1876

Three weeks went by, my body healed but my sadness remained, I felt Erik was building a wall between us. Now when we prepared for bed he actually wore nightclothes when before he slept nude, he no longer slept holding me to him with his hand cupping my breast like he always did before, now should he accidentally touch me his hand would jerk away as if it had been burned. When I would wake in the middle of the night, he would be gone.

One night I got up determined to confront him. I went downstairs searching through the house until I found him lying on the couch in the music room asleep. Seeing that he preferred sleeping on the uncomfortable couch instead of our bed with me filled me with despair. I knew he loved me and I knew what lie behind this but I was at a loss as to how to get through to him, I was still to full of grief myself. I crept back up to my lonely bed and cried myself to sleep. I was awake the next morning when he crept in to change his clothes. He thought me asleep.

"Erik, we need to talk." I said softly. "Please." I said as I saw him stiffen. He turned his head to me, his eyes dark and for once unreadable.

"There is nothing to talk about." He said and stalked from the room, leaving me feeling lost and desolate.

The next few days were particularly strained. Erik didn't come to bed at all, choosing to sleep on one of the settees in various rooms instead; mealtimes were in a strained silence. I would catch Madeline casting worried glances between the two of us, the children looked unhappy as they glanced from Erik's stony face to mine. Anytime I would attempt to talk to Erik, he would stalk off.

One night I lay in bed and I could hear Erik playing the piano downstairs. Everyone else was in bed; I crept down the stairs and stood behind him as he played wildly, his frustration and pain pouring through the music. When at last he came to a stop, I hesitantly came to his side.

"Erik." I said softly tears welling in my eyes. He looked at me, pain, fear and anger all in his eyes. Thinking that I could break his resolve I slowly I let my gown drop. Erik threw himself away from the piano and me with his back turned.

"Put it back on." He said in barely contained anger and then stormed from the room. I heard the front door slam as I shakily put my gown back on and again fled for my room.

I spent a sleepless night alone and at sunrise, I gave up and decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I left a note in the kitchen and set out. Lost in my thoughts I didn't realize how far I had walked until I found myself near the lake. I walked along the edge for a while but then decided to go to my favorite spot, a rocky outcrop sticking out over the lake with a beautiful view of the forest beyond. I climbed the narrow path and at the top sat on the patch of grass near the middle. It was so peaceful yet melancholy at the same time. I lay back watching the clouds drifting above and soon fell asleep.

Something woke me and I sat up with a start. The sun was getting low in the sky I had slept all day. I stood up and went to the edge of the outcrop, just drinking in the beauty of the place, thinking about returning before they became too worried, when a movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention. It was Erik coming up the path. Without turning my head, I continued to watch him from the corner of my eye. He paused as he saw me standing near the edge.

"Jenny, what are you doing?" He said softly, barely contained fear in his voice and then I knew what he was thinking, and whether it was right or wrong I let him think it remaining silent. "I will not let you leave me like this." He said.

"Why not Erik? You've already left me. I need you Erik; I need your warmth, your love, your touch. I need to feel your arms around me, I need to feel you inside me making us complete, I need your companionship. I need your tears, your fears, your joys, hopes and your smiles. Without that what is there but a life of emptiness?" I said tonelessly not looking at him directly still. "Miscarriages happen to the best of families Erik." I said softly. "With no apparent reason, you can't go on blaming yourself every time something happens, if I'm willing to take the chance then why aren't you? Or have you truly lost all desire and all feeling for me?" I said looking down. I saw him take a hesitant step towards me, then stop; as if afraid that should he come closer, I would jump.

"Jenny, come away from the edge and we'll talk. I promise." Erik said pleading, his eyes tortured. I turned toward him and slipped on a rock nearly falling. In a flash, Erik caught me and had me in his arms. "First of all never think that I don't want you. Do you not know how hard these weeks have been for me?" He said softly as he put me down gently.

"How could I, you would never talk to me." I said angrily. He reached out his hand and led me to where I had napped earlier. He sat down pulling me down next to him.

"When I saw you lying there with all that blood, and you kept losing blood, it wouldn't stop. I felt so powerless I did not think the doctor would ever come. It seemed as if you were slipping away in front of my eyes. At that time, I could not even spare a thought for the baby, and later I felt guilty that I hadn't thought of the baby. Even when I knew you were grieving, I could only feel relief that you were all right. I vowed I would never let that happen to you again."

"A really stupid promise, Erik. No one knows how or when their time will come. Keeping yourself from me accomplishes nothing but making us both miserable." I said heatedly, it hurt that he did not grieve for our child but knowing how he felt about himself, I understood.

"I know but it was all I could think of. I thought I could do it, I lived the first 35 years of my life without the touch of a woman, but that was before you. You don't make it easy." sighing he turned to me brushing a tear from my cheek. "I suppose if I'm ever to see you smile again I'll just have to start taking chances. Do you know how much it hurt me to see the pain in your eyes, knowing that I was to blame? I don't mean because of the baby but because what I was doing was hurting you, yet I couldn't stop. I kept seeing you and all that blood. I nearly lost you twice now." Tears started to slide down his face, sobs wracking his body. I reached over and pulled him down so that his head was lying in my lap.

"Sssh love, it's alright, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." I said softly as I held him, one hand reaching up and capturing mine. His sobs gradually subsided and his breathing slowed, he had fallen asleep, these days had been just as trying for him. I sat there playing with his hair, praying that I had him back now, a little while later he jerked awake in my lap and turned onto his back; his eyes opened and met mine. He studied me solemnly, reaching up to caress my cheek.

"Promise me you won't think about doing that again." He said softly, for a moment I didn't know what he meant and then I remembered what he had thought when he found me.

"Oh Erik, the thought never entered my head, but I desperately needed you to talk to me. I was hurting so much, first losing the baby and then watching you pull away from me and then last night…I felt so humiliated and ashamed. I felt that I had lost you for good." I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. He sat up and for a moment, my stomach knotted in fear, but then his arms came around me.

"I'm sorry angel but last night I nearly lost control. I was afraid of myself, of what I might do. I don't deserve you angel." He said kissing my temple.

"I love you Erik. You are everything to me." I whispered and his lips sought mine, almost tentatively, his hand cradling my face. I slipped my hands inside his shirt gently caressing his chest as he slowly lowered me down to the ground. He lay down next to me and pulled me against him, just holding me.

"I don't know what you see in this horrible, temperamental soul, but I am so glad I have you. You are my salvation, my reason for being, the other half of my soul." His lips again found mine, softly at first, then increasingly demanding. His hands gently massaging my breasts. I reached for the buttons of his trousers releasing the throbbing length. I needed to feel him, to touch him. His lips moved to the base of my throat, my neck, my shoulders.

"Please Erik, Please." I cried and his mouth consumed mine yet again. He groaned as I stroked and caressed him, and reaching down, he dragged my hands away.

"Angel any more of that and it'll be all over." He said, holding my hands, kissing them, he lay motionless for a few moments until his breathing steadied and then yanking my skirt up roughly he reached his hand down my under drawers, his fingers slipping inside me as his thumb rubbed the sensitive spot. He groaned, "Sorry love but I can't wait." And he slid my drawers around my ankles. I kicked one foot free as he entered me slowly pausing for a moment and then he set a wild pace as he thrust repeatedly, deeper and deeper. He came shuddering violently and lay sheathed within me. Finally, he slipped from me.

"Erik…" I started to say in protest.

"Sssh, little angel, I'm sorry I couldn't wait but I'll make it up to you." He whispered as his mouth touched the base of my throat. His hand deftly opened the buttons on my blouse. Pulling it open he caressed my breast, pinching my nipple between his fingers and tugging on it. My body pushing out to his hand and then to his mouth as it took over from his hand, teeth lightly nipping the tender flesh. His mouth traveled downward, his hand lightly brushing the inside of my thigh sending waves of flame through my body. His tongue reached that most tender of places. I gasped and moaned. His fingers again slid into me while his tongue brought me finally to my trembling climax. He kissed his way up my to my mouth, murmuring soft words of love. He lay holding me until the dimness of the setting sun intruded.

"What are we doing angel, they are worried sick at the house." He kissed my forehead and brushed some leaves from my hair while I rebuttoned my blouse.

"I was about to return when I saw you." I said.

"When Madeline found your note we thought at first that you would be back by lunchtime but when you weren't back by the time Madeline started supper…. I was going out of my mind so I went looking for you, and then I saw you standing at the edge." His voice caught and he gathered me roughly to him.

"It's over now love. Here you can't go back like this." I teased as I tugged on his unbuttoned trousers, he smiled.

"And just where are your drawers angel mine." he teased back. We finished dressing quickly and then, hand in hand we made our way back down the trail. Near the bottom, my ankle gave out beneath me and I nearly fell, I would have if Erik hadn't been holding my hand. He steadied me and almost laughed.

"Angel, when did you become so accident prone?" I winced, as I tenderly put my foot back to the ground, I immediately picked it back up.

"Laugh if you must Erik, but you're going to have to carry me, seems I've sprained it." He swept me up in his arms.

"Are you sure it's just a sprain?" he asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes love, it'll be fine soon." I said smiling into his shirt; it wasn't really a bad sprain. He carried me the rest of the way home, laughing when he saw more bits of leaves tangled in my hair.

"This is the second time I've carried you over the threshold angel." He laughed as he carried me through the door and then stopped abruptly. I looked over to see five sets of eyes watching as Erik gently set me down, supporting my weight against him. Madeline took in our rumpled clothes with leaves and grass sticking here and there and covered her mouth with her hand, hiding her smile. Erik cleared his throat a bit uncomfortably.

"Well I found her." He said rather lamely. Antoine and Pierre also noticing the state of our clothing, rather uncomfortably excused themselves, while expressing relief that I was in one piece.

"Mama, we were so worried. Did you get hurt?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine darling I just sprained my ankle, and I fell asleep near the lake that's why I'm so late. I was really tired and didn't wake up until the sun started to go down and then Papa Erik found me." I smiled up at him. Mouse tugged at my skirt and I looked at him. He pointed to what he had written on his slate.

"You and Papa Erik aren't mad at each other any more? You love each other again?" it said. I dropped to my knee and hugged him.

"Oh baby we weren't mad at each other and we never stopped loving each other. We were just hurting because of the baby and because…." I looked up at Erik not knowing how to continue. Erik joined me at Mouse's level, putting one arm around me and taking Mouse's hand in the other.

"Sometimes people have misunderstandings; it doesn't mean they stop loving each other. Nothing could ever make me stop loving Jenny." He said smiling. Mouse looked over at Sylvie and they both smiled in relief.

"My dear you must eat something, unless you took a lunch with you, you haven't eaten anything all day. Children you've already had your supper why don't you go and play for a bit before bedtime." At the mention of food I was suddenly famished and after doing a brief wash up at the sink, Erik and I both sat down to our supper. Erik looked both amused and relieved to see me heaping my plate.

"It's good to see the two of you finally….ah….talked." Madeline said smiling. Erik and I exchanged glances rather sheepishly; my face I knew was crimson. Erik smiled at me softly and brushed my cheek.

"Yes Madeline, we talked. It is a relatively new concept for me you know. Talking, especially where feelings are concerned. It's been less then two years since I met Jenny. That's not much time to erase a lifetime of near silence easily."

"I know my dear. I am just glad that you two found each other." She said and with a smile at me left the room. Erik smiled watching me eat, I couldn't remember the last time I had finished a meal and when I at last pushed my plate away, Erik came to me to help me up.

"I think a nice hot bath is due." He said smiling as he picked more leaves from my hair.

"Erik, I want to see the twins first. I'm afraid I've neglected them badly." He suddenly sobered.

"You and me both angel. We've been too wrapped up in our pain." He cupped my cheek with his palm. "Come love, we'll go check on them now." and he swung me up in his arms.

"Erik I think I can walk now." I said giggling. He kissed me gently and put me down.

"If you insist angel." and he put his arm around me, and with me limping slightly we went upstairs to the nursery. We stood together watching our beautiful toddlers sleeping so peacefully. I leaned against Erik.

"They are so beautiful Erik, just like their father."

"Carrie may have my coloring but she has your cute little upturned nose and she's going to be small like her mother." He said smiling. "Come, let's go. I'll scrub your back and wash your hair for you."

"Mmm, sounds lovely, but I think your back could do with a little scrubbing as well." I teased.

"I'm not the one who was lying on my back in the weeds angel, but I accept anyway." His eyes glittered with an unspoken promise as he led me from the nursery. When we reached our room, he sat down to pull off his boots, and I went in to fill the tub with hot water. I undressed and stepped into the tub, slowly settling back in the warm water and closing my eyes.

"Here angel let me brush your hair first." Erik said softly. I looked up at him as he came through the door, he was wearing his robe, its sleeves rolled up, and in one hand he held my hairbrush and in the other a gardenia he had plucked from the vase on my vanity. He knelt next to the tub and carefully lay the flower down. Gathering my hair gently he started brushing my hair, pausing to pull bits of leaves out now and then. It felt wonderful.

"Mmm, I should have you brush my hair more often." I purred. He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Lean back angel. I'll wash it for you now." He said quietly. The feel of his fingers running through my hair was lovely. "You have such beautiful hair love." I relaxed as he slowly washed and rinsed my hair. He twisted it to get excess water from it and placed it over my shoulder, and put his lips close to my ear. "I'm going to wash your back now angel." he whispered as he had me lean forward. Slowly he soaped my back, starting at my neck and slowly working his way down, running his fingers lightly down my spine and then each side. I licked my lips; I was getting some decidedly warm feelings. He took the cloth and slowly rinsed the soap away, then leaned me back his eyes dark, his lips parted softly. He leaned forward his lips close to mine. "More love?" he whispered.

"Yes." I breathed; I swallowed and licked my lips. He lathered his hands and gently soaped my neck, shoulders then between my breasts. Finally, he reached my breasts, carefully lathering them. My breath caught at his touch. The bar of soap slid across my stomach mixing with the warm water. He bade me to lift one leg, starting at my foot slowly lathered my ankle, my calf, and then up my thigh then he repeated the process on the other leg. Things were getting decidedly warm and when his lathered hand finally slid between my legs I automatically pushed out to him my breath coming in short gasps as the heat built, but then he took his hand away reaching for the cloth.

"Not yet love." he whispered and slowly began the rinsing process, again when he reached between my legs I urged him to continue but again he denied me, instead pulling the plug on the drain. He wrapped a towel around me and pulled me from the tub. He carefully dried my back, then reaching his arms around me he pulled me against him. His maleness pressing against my back insistently. He pulled my hair away from my neck and softly pressed his lips to it. I shivered delightfully at the feather touch. "You are to thin angel. " He said as he continued to dry me, my arms, my front and my legs. I needed his touch but still he held back. He spread a towel on the floor and guided me down, and then he picked up the forgotten flower.

"Erik, please." I begged.

"Sssh angel, soon, soon." he whispered. He took the flower and twirling it in his fingers; he gently traced it across my body. "You are so beautiful my angel." He whispered as the flower brushed my nipples on down across my stomach. I parted my legs but the touch of the flower traced down the inside of my thigh instead. Finally, with a groan Erik tossed the flower aside, his lips tracing the path up the inside of my thigh and then lightly teasing where I burned with the tip of his tongue. I writhed trying to push myself closer to that teasing tongue; finally, his strokes became stronger, his tongue dipping inside.

"Now Erik now." I cried, my body aching for release from the exquisite torture.

"Soon angel soon." He whispered and his fingers replaced his tongue. Slowly sliding in and out of me his thumb caressing until violent shudders wracked my body. He lips met mine, somehow he had shed his robe and as I shuddered, he pulled me against him, his bare skin against mine for the first time in so long.

When finally my shuddering stopped he reached down to the swollen flesh gently caressing it until he had me writhing again.

"Now angel." he whispered as at last he rolled over me and his throbbing length filled me. Slowly he began to move, I matched thrust for thrust in an ever increasing tempo until my body was shuddering uncontrollably. Erik holding himself deep inside me, showering me with kisses until slowly I began to relax. Again, he began moving plunging deeply until at last with a deep guttural cry he spent himself within me, his body jerking with each pulse, until at last he slowly withdrew, rolling to his side and pulled me to him, kissing me gently.

"Love, I missed you so much." I said gently wiping sweat from his face.

"I have been a stubborn fool, angel." He said kissing my forehead softly.

"Just promise me that we won't stop talking. I need to know how you are feeling, as long as we can talk things out everything will be fine." I said and snuggled against him. We lay holding each other for a while, then Erik's hands began to roam again, and there was a quickening in his loins. Slowly I disentangled myself and stood up.

"Jenny, where are you going?" Erik said puzzled.

"I'm drawing your bath love. It's your turn to have your back scrubbed." I said smiling.

I woke slowly the next morning, luxuriating in the feel of Erik's arms around me, his legs tangled with mine. Things were just as they should be.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Again thank you for your reviews, it really makes me happy to see people like my Erik and Jenny! Please keep reviewing I welcome any suggestions as well._**

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Chapter 17

August 1876

We celebrated the twins' birthday quietly. They were growing so fast, walking unsteadily on their stubby little legs. Carrie's hair was beginning to curl softly while Nathaniel's was straight. It dawned on me that everyone had a birthday or day set aside as a birthday except Erik.

"Erik, my love you've never told me when your birthday is." I said as I sat Nathaniel down on the floor and sat next to Erik on the settee.

"I don't know when it is. Sometime in the summer, I think but I do not know for sure. My mother never wanted to remember that day and later neither did I." He said softly.

"Everyone needs a birthday." I said taking his hand. "We even gave Mouse and Sylvie a day they could celebrate. We need to pick one for you too." He looked at me a moment.

"You're not going to give up on this are you?" he said softly and I shook my head emphatically.

"No this is important. To me at least." I said gently. He shook his head and then looked at me.

"If I were to pick a day as mine it would be the day I found you which was May 16th in case you think I may have forgotten. That was the day of my rebirth." He said as brushed my cheek with his hand. He slid his arm across my shoulders and pulled me close to him. I snuggled against him and put my arm across his chest. That day was gone this year but now I knew next year we would have a special celebration just for him. Madeline walked in reading a note; she looked up at us sitting there.

"We have been invited to a picnic at the Devereux's, I think we should go the children need to run and play with other children and you two need something to take your minds off of things.

"Madeline, you know….." Erik began.

"That means you too Erik." She frowned. "I really think you should start putting in an appearance here and there with your family. It might stem some disturbing questions I've been hearing."

"What have you been hearing Madeline?" Erik asked frowning, tension suddenly oozing from his body. He glanced at the children who were playing with the twins in the corner.

"Mouse, Sylvie, would you like to go and pick some strawberries? We will have strawberries and cream for dessert tonight." I asked. They looked up excited; it was one of their favorites.

Leaving the twins to their own devices, they hurried from the room. We watched the children as they left the room, Erik squeezing me in thanks. When we were sure that little ears were out of range Madeline continued.

"It's not so much what is said, it's the sudden hushes when I enter a room and the sidelong guilty glances, and Pierre looked like he'd been in a fight the other day but wouldn't say why. Someone asked me how long I had know my niece's husband. I told them since you arrived in France with her." Madeline said. Tension eased a bit in Erik's body though he still looked worried.

"Why would rumors start? We've been courteous to our neighbors. The only things that have gone wrong around here are within our own family. First with Erik and Sylvie…" I paused remembering the doctor, but I couldn't believe it was him. Then another thought struck me. "Do you think it could be Henri?" I asked. "But why, he's the one who caused the accident?'

"He knows I've had people looking for him." Erik said harshly. I looked at him in surprise. I had no idea that he had people looking for Henri. "He did more than cause an accident in a drunken stupor. He attacked Antoine's daughter earlier that day. He was hiding out in our stable."

"Delia never let on. Why didn't she say anything? Oh the poor girl, is Marie alright?" I tried to remember when the last time I had seen Marie.

"She's alright, Pierre happened by before he could…Anyway they thought you had enough on your mind with Sylvie and me at the time." He said softly. "I only found out when I was recovering and supervising the completion of the stables. I promised Antoine I would help find Henri, for what almost happened to Marie and Sylvie."

"But how would he know about…" Madeline asked.

"He may not but since I wear a mask he might think that if he throws suspicion towards me people will forget about him and his crimes."

"Very well, at the picnic should people ask, we met seven years ago when you became my music instructor. That will place you far away from here when everything happened. You became my betrothed before we came to France with my father, who died enroute. Always have an element of truth when telling a lie and father did die enroute." I said sadly. Erik squeezed me tight and kissed my temple. "We need to convince people that my devoted, loving husband could not possibly be…." I said smiling at Erik. He sighed heavily.

"Well he was that monster until he met you." Erik said, with a groan he stood, raking his hand through his hair. "I won't have my children knowing their father was….." He looked down clinching his fists, his eyes haunted. I went to him and wrapped my arms around him. He looked down at me as he put his arms around me. "I'll never understand how you could dismiss my past so easily, but I am grateful you did."

"I'll go and answer the letter and say that we will be attending." Madeline said and left the room. I looked up at Erik and pulled away from his arms.

"Why didn't you tell me Erik? There has been plenty of time between then and now. Why didn't anyone tell us?" I asked.

"Antoine and Delia didn't want it known. Marie was pretty traumatized, she didn't want anyone to know. We were honoring her wishes.

"Didn't you think that Madeline and I might have a right to know? What about Sylvie? If he attacked Marie he could have…" I asked.

"I didn't think that he would stick around. No one seemed to know where he was. Then you got pregnant and it was not an easy pregnancy and then you lost…Anyway with everything that happened it slipped my mind. I had other things more important to me on my mind." He said looking at me intently. I relented, with all that had happened I knew where his thoughts had been, where our thoughts had been.

"I understand." I said softly looking down.

"Jenny, I would do anything to protect my family. Unfortunately you have already seen that part of me when we first met."

"I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't done what you did and I wouldn't have blamed you if you had taken care of Henri." I said as I recalled Erik's crumbled and bleeding form. Relief flooded his eyes and he held out his arms to me.

"I'm sorry angel, I should have told you. Everything else just got in the way." He said as I went to him and put my arms around his waist. "But as far as the picnic goes, we need to get every detail of our supposed meeting, betrothal, journey to France and subsequent marriage straight so anyone comparing notes won't find any discrepancies."

"What about the children. They would never deliberately say anything that would hurt you but…."

"They know nothing of our past before you found them. They always believed that we were married, and they know better than to talk about our underground home. Perhaps once we have our past invented we could talk about how I was enchanted by a young girl who was my pupil and how that enchantment eventually became a deep abiding love."

"But they have already met the vicomtesse… and they know she was a pupil."

"Don't worry angel we will figure something out. Now let's find Madeline so we can get our stories in order." He said as he led me from the room.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Again thank you for your reviews, I really appreciate them. This chapter gave me some trouble, any suggestions welcome._**

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Chapter 18

August 1876

We arrived at the Devereux's the day of the picnic, and while Erik tied the horses, we clambered out of the carriage. Madeline grabbed some blankets and the basket with the dishes.

"Children come along and help me find a place to set up and then you can go play." Madeline said. Mouse ran on ahead blowing experimentally on the whistle we had given him so he could get our attention if he needed to.

"We'll be right behind with the rest of the stuff." I said as I grabbed the basket that held our picnic lunch. The twins were still in the carriage asleep. They looked so peaceful I almost hated to wake them. Erik came over to me.

"Ready angel?" He asked and touched my cheek softly. "Lord knows I'm not, all these people…"

"Sssh love, just remember you are here to prove that you are a loving husband and father who couldn't possibly be who the rumors suggest. The most people will be able to say about us is that our babies were born awfully early and I'm sure that ours aren't the first "premature" babies ever born." I smiled up at him. He took the basket from me, sat it down, and drew me to him.

"But I am a loving husband and father." He said smiling and leaned down covering my mouth with his, kissing me deeply. "I can think of things I would rather be doing." He whispered as our lips parted. I cleared my throat and glanced around to see if anyone was near.

"Yes, well Madeline will wonder where we are. Do you mind carrying the twins?" I asked as I picked up Nathaniel who was now wide awake. Erik picked up his sister and I handed Nathaniel to him and picked up the picnic basket. We stood and looked around to see if we could find them when I heard a whistle blow. I looked around to see Mouse gesturing at us to follow him. When we reached our picnic site, the Devereux's were chatting with Madeline. I sat the basket down and reached for Nathaniel. Madame Devereux came over exclaiming over the babes.

"What beautiful babies Madame des Ombres." She gushed. I could see her shrewd eyes examining the babies and then glancing at Erik as if to verify that they were indeed his children. "Your son looks remarkably like his father." She admitted as she glanced over at her husband who was chatting with Erik.

"You must join us for the tug o war Monsieur des Ombres what do you say?" Monsieur Devereux clapped Erik on the back. Erik looked over at me somewhat grimly.

"Jenny do you need my help with the children?" He asked, his eyes pleading.

"Go ahead love. Madeline and I can manage. We will be there to cheer you on." I smiled at him, handed Nathaniel to Madeline, reached up, and took Carrie from him. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "You'll do just fine." He looked at me grimly and then turned to follow Monsieur Devereux. He need not have thought I was getting away lightly for as soon as they were gone Madame Devereux skillfully began her interrogation of me, asking questions in a roundabout way. Madeline and I revealed all that we had planned together. When she was satisfied we all strolled over to watch the games begin.

It began with the tug-of-war. The rope stretched across a mud pit so that anyone pulled across would fall into it. They had put Erik at the very front and he was determined that he would not be the one to fall in. With grim determination his team gradually pulled the others into the mud one by one until they eventually dropped the rope in defeat. He glanced around until he saw us clapping and cheering by the sidelines. He came over to receive my congratulatory hug.

"When we get home you are in for it." He whispered to me.

"Don't think it's been roses for me. I was grilled by an expert." I whispered back, then louder. "Oh look I think they are starting the egg race. Mouse particularly wanted to do that with you." I said with a smile as Mouse came running to grab Erik's hand, tugging on it until reluctantly Erik turned to follow. He wouldn't admit it yet but I could tell he was actually beginning to enjoy himself.

The object of the egg race was for the boys, balancing an egg in a spoon to get it to the other side and pass it to their fathers as fast as they could without dropping it and for the fathers to take it back to the point of origin, again as fast and without dropping it as possible.

They lined up on opposite sides of the ring and an egg was placed in each boy's spoon. Mouse was concentrating fiercely on his egg. As the flag was dropped he started across the ring at a fast running walk, his small tongue sticking out the side of his mouth. There was a bit of a wobble and Mouse almost stopped while the egg settled back. Other boys weren't as fortunate as one after another lost their eggs. Erik shouted encouragement to Mouse as he continued across the ring neck and neck with Stephan Devereux. Finally he reached Erik and passed the spoon and egg over to Erik. With his grace and long legs Erik had no problem reaching the other side in front of the much shorter Monsieur Devereux. He and Mouse were declared the winners. Mouse was dancing around in excitement and Erik looked over at me with a grin on his face. He looked down at Mouse and ruffled his hair as they strolled over to us, Mouse waving his ribbon at us. I leaned over hugging Mouse and then reached up to hug Erik.

"Am I finished yet?" he whispered as he embraced me.

"Not yet there is still the three-legged race with Sylvie. She's been wanting to do something special with you, her Papa Erik." I glanced over at her where she was congratulating Mouse enthusiastically. She glanced up and looked at Erik almost shyly and then glanced back down to the ground. Erik went over to her and lifted her face to meet his.

"Well Mademoiselle will you do the honor of joining me in the next event?" he asked solemnly.

"But how Papa Erik? With my leg like it is. The other kids laugh and say that I can't do anything." she said mournfully. He dropped down to one knee.

"That's an easy fix Sylvie. We just tie your bad leg to mine and let my leg do all the work. Don't worry I won't let us fall." he said gently. "We'll show the others that you can do anything that you set your mind to. Don't let what they say trouble you love. You are my beautiful, darling daughter and you can do anything, anyone who says otherwise will have to deal with _Me_." she looked at him with determination and adoration.

"Lets go then." she said smiling and took his hand in hers, solemnly handing me her crutch.

Mouse and Sylvie shared a special look that made me start thinking. They were elevenalmost twelve andthey weren't really brother and sister, and in a year or two… I decided that Erik and I would have to have a talk with them soon. My parents had believed in information unlike a lot of girls who never found things out until they happened. I smiled to myself thinking of what Erik might say to my suggestion. All his information had come from overhearing and observing first the gypsies and then the dancers and singers at the opera. Not the best education at all. Then I flushed realizing that I would have to tell Sylvie about it. Well I would discuss it with Erik once we were home and alone. Right now they had just finished tying their legs together and were lining up at the starting line.

Erik was leaning over so he could put his arm around her waist and she had hers holding on to the back of his shirt. The flag was dropped and they were off. Erik was concentrating on shortening his stride to match Sylvie's and it seemed he was half supporting her as they sped away from the rest of them. Two pairs only made about five strides before falling flat on their faces. Again the Devereux's were right behind Erik and Sylvie when they passed the finish line. Sylvie's eyes shone when she was presented with the ribbon. Erik untied their legs and lifted her up in his arms, kissing her cheek with a smile and then sat her back down. Mouse went running out to add his congratulations. When Mouse kissed Sylvie's cheek like Erik had I saw a troubled and thoughtful look on Erik's face. He had the same thought that I had.

Carrie started fussing at my feet, letting me know that it was time for lunch. I picked her up as Erik and the children approached, and handed her to her father while I hugged Sylvie and admired her ribbon. Madeline had Nathaniel in her arms as I gave Sylvie her crutch.

"Come its time for lunch so these two can take their naps." Madeline said. Mouse and Sylvie scampered off ahead of us and I wrapped my arm around Erik's waist as we strolled over to our spot. He looked down at me smiling.

"Enjoying yourself angel?" he asked.

"Yes I am and I believe that you are too even if you won't admit it. You are naturally competitive and you don't like to lose, even a child's game." I said as we reached our picnic blanket.

Picnicking with twin toddlers was a challenge. Trying to feed them, eat yourself and keeping them from crawling into or playing with the food. Finally they dropped off to sleep and the children ran off to see what other games were being played. Madeline chose to stay with the twins while Erik and I strolled arm in arm to watch some of the other events, enduring some curious and speculative stares and ignoring the whispers. The pie eating contest was in full swing when we arrived, some of the observers commented that it was to bad Erik had arrived to late but I knew that there was no way that he would ever compete in this particular event. We were clapping as they announced the winner when we heard Mouse's whistle blowing frantically. Erik took off at a run in the direction of the sound with me close behind. A few curious people following with increasing speed as they realized something was wrong.

Mouse, Sylvie and several other children were milling around the bank of the stream. Recent heavy rains had swollen the stream and the current was dangerous. In the lee of a boulder a young girl was clinging to the boulder in danger of being swept away. When Mouse saw Erik he gestured to another boy who was running towards us carrying a rope. Erik took the rope from the boy and tied it to a tree and wrapping it once around his waist, waded out into the stream.

"Oh no my poor baby!" I heard a woman gasp. Twice Erik was nearly swept off his feet but managed to recover. Finally he reached her. He lashed the end of the rope around her waist and lifted her up. She threw her arms around his neck nearly choking him wrapping her legs around his waist. Hand over hand he pulled himself slowly to the shore. As he reached the shore her parents ran to him taking their daughter and hugging her to them, making sure she was alright. Someone handed Erik a blanket and there was much clapping on his back by the other men. After shaking hands and accepting thanks from the distraught parents he looked around for me.

"Erik lets go home before you catch your death." I said wrapping the blanket around him tighter. "Mouse, Sylvie run ahead and tell Madeline we will be leaving. Erik and I must make our excuses to our hosts."

The sun was touching the tops of the trees when we finally arrived home. By the time everyone was bathed and fed the overtired children were put to bed and I could finally relax. It had been a long day.

I was sitting at my vanity brushing my hair when I saw him enter the room in the mirror. He watched me for a moment and then came and stood behind me.

"Here let me do that Jenny." he said taking the brush from me. I sighed and closed my eyes contented as he continued gently brushing my hair. Finally he laid the brush aside and dropping to his knees he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"So Erik how do you feel now that the day is over." I asked smiling.

"Thankful that the ordeal is over, yet somehow, pleased." he said reluctantly.

"You should be, you saved a young girl's life today, and gained everyone's respect in the process. You're a hero and not just mine and Sylvie's now." I turned my head and kissed his check. He sighed and softly rubbed his cheek against mine.

"I don't think that I ever will be comfortable among crowds angel. Come lets go to bed its been a long and tiring day." He said and led me to the bed.


	19. Chapter 19

**_As always thanks for the reviews to those who do and to those who read but don't review, thank you for reading my story. MJ MOD your question will be addressed in the next chapter._**

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Chapter 19

September 1876

Autumn was arriving with a vengeance. The trees were glorious in their gold, red and yellow raiment. The breeze was blowing cold and a light mist fell. Erik was in his study going over the bills and I was putting away the laundry. I was trying to put Erik's kerchiefs away but the drawer was stuck. Finally, I laid the handkerchiefs down and gave it a yank with both hands. It suddenly slid free I almost fell and let go of the drawer. It fell to the floor with a crash, objects flying in all directions. A plain wooden box fell spilling its contents, something shiny rolling under the edge of the dresser. Sighing in frustration, I went down on all fours picking things up. I reached under the dresser to retrieve what had fallen there. It was a ring. A diamond surrounded by a cluster of smaller diamonds, the dried stem of an old red rose affixed to it by a black ribbon, the dried petals, almost black with age, scattered across the floor. Numbly I looked at it lying in my hand. I knew it was _her _ring. Erik refused to have any red roses in our garden. Any and all other colors grew profusely on our estate but he flatly refused to allow me to plant red ones. Anger flared within me. He still kept it. After all we've been through and he still kept _her_ ring. I closed my hand around the ring convulsively and stormed into his study, flinging the door open.

"Why Erik!" I shouted. He looked up at me perplexed.

"Whatever are you angry about?" he said calmly. I slammed the ring down on his desk.

"Why do you keep it!" He glanced down at the ring and then looked up at me coolly.

"Where did you find it?" He asked quietly.

"Your kerchief drawer was stuck and when I opened it everything fell out, including this!" I gestured toward the ring.

"Believe it or not angel I haven't thought of that since we moved here."

"You expect me to believe that? After all it belonged to your beloved "Angel of Music." I sneered. He stood up abruptly, his eyes turning steely.

"Believe or not as you wish madam I will not be called a liar by you." He growled, his eyes dark with anger, grabbed up the ring, and sticking it in his pocket strode towards the stairs.

"You are going to get rid of it aren't you?" I asked. He turned and glared at me.

"No." He said softly and he left me staring at his back as he rushed down the stairs. I fumed to myself. How dare he walk out on me. Furiously I went back to our room slamming things in their drawers until reason finally settled in my mind. I knew that he had loved her, he had admitted that a part of him would always love her but that I was the one he wanted. I knew he loved me so why was I demanding that he get rid of a mere memento, and on top of that I had as much as called him a liar. He had never lied to me about any aspect of his past. Morosely I looked down at my feet. I owed him an apology. A profound apology. The sooner I did the better so I went in search of him only to find he wasn't in the house.

"Madeline I'm going out for a walk. Could you watch the children please?" I asked.

"Of course. Is this about the bear? I saw him storming out a moment ago. What's he done this time?"

"No Madeline this time it's what have I done." I said sadly and walked out. I headed down to the stable hoping to find him with the horses but when I got there, Shadow's stall was empty. There was no telling where he might have gone. I sat down on the bench in front of his stall determined to wait but as the sun lowered in the sky and the air turned colder I was forced to return to the house and get supper ready.

Supper came and he still hadn't put in an appearance.

"Where is Papa Erik, Mama?" Sylvie asked.

"He had some errands to run. He might be late." I lied. So now who was the liar I berated myself mentally. He must have been terribly hurt and angry to be gone so long.

It was late and everyone else had retired for the evening. I was still waiting, trying to read a book when I heard the piano. By the sound of the music he was still angry. I put my book down got up and tightened the sash on my robe. Resolutely I went downstairs to the music room, my stomach a mass of butterflies, and quietly opened the door. His hands were flying over the ivories the music crashing around him as he poured his fury into his music. I stood there silently until with a final crashing note he stopped, breathing heavily.

"Erik." I said softly. He turned his head toward me, his eyes unreadable.

"Madam." He said coldly. I winced inwardly. Gone were any endearments and even my name.

"Erik I am so very sorry. I know you have never lied to me." He sat looking at me impassively. I took a step toward him. "I don't know what came over me, why I'm still insecure when it comes to her. I know you love me. I had no right to ask you to get rid of the ring." Still he watched me, unmoving, expressionless. I looked down. "I know that what I said was unforgivable but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." I looked up at his cold face and slowly turned to leave.

"Jenny wait." he said with a sigh. I stopped, my back to him. It was silent for a moment and then his hands grasped my shoulders. I jumped I hadn't heard him move.

"Why can't you forget about her? You know how I feel about you is so much deeper and more fulfilling than anything I ever felt for her. Ihonestly had forgotten about the ring."

"I know." I said miserably. Shaking my head I said. "I truly don't know what got into me." He turned me to him and put his finger under my chin lifting my face to his. His eyes softened as he watched my face. He put his hand into his pocket and held the ring out to me.

"So. What shall I do with this?" he asked. I looked at his face and then down at his outstretched hand. Slowly I closed his fingers over the ring.

"Put it back or wherever you think it will be safe. I won't touch it again I swear." He brushed my cheek with his finger.

"No need to swear, I believe you. Here you do with it as you like." He said and put it in my hand. I looked from him to the ring and slowly walked up the stairs through the study, to our room. Opening his kerchief drawer I placed it inside and then closed it. I turned back toward the door and Erik was standing there watching me. He put out his arms to me and I melted into them.

"Oh angel what am I going to do with you?" He murmured against my hair.

"Just love me Erik. Even when I'm being really silly and stupid." I whispered.

"You are never silly and I have never known you to be stupid about anything before today. If you can forgive me and my tempers how can I not forgive you yours.I will always will love you." He said. His hands slid down to my waist and he leaned over and kissed me. "Come its late." he said and tugging the sash of my robe free, slid it from my shoulders. He brushed my neck with his lips and nipped at my earlobe.

"Shall we make up properly?" he breathed and then captured my lips with his. His hands went to the buttons of my nightdress unbuttoning them expertly. "I don't know why you bother wearing these, they rarely stay on."He said as he slid it from my shoulders to puddle around my feet.

"But you delight in undressing me so." I laughed softly.

"So I do. I never get tired of your lovely body. It never fails to surprise me that you would share it with me." he said before his lips claimed mine.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Sorry it's been so long for an update but triple digit temps and a house with no airconditioning does something to concentration and creativity. This chapter will answer a few questions. Please let me know what you think I do appreciate reviews._**

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Chapter 20

November to December 1876

One cold day in November, I was in our room finishing the hem of a dress I was making for Sylvie, when Erik came out of his study. He went to the window looking out at the children playing below. He glanced over at me and pursing his lips, looked back out the window.

"Something on your mind love?" I asked. Sighing Erik went over and grabbed the other chair and placed it in front of me.

"I know that it isn't the thing to talk about Jenny but in my years in the opera I saw many things." He said as he sat. " I saw many young girls terrified, thinking that they were dying and afraid to say anything. All because no one ever told them about what happens when they become young women. I don't know what your feelings are on the matter but I don't want it to happen to Sylvie or Carrie." I looked at Erik in astonishment. I had meant to bring the subject up myself the day of the picnic but with everything that happened that day I completely forgot.

"Erik my parents were very forward thinking, I was told when I was about Sylvie's age. In fact I meant to get your feelings about it earlier but it just slipped my mind." I said as I put the dress aside.

"Well she is about twelve now. The way she's growing I think that you should have a talk with her about it soon."

"Yes Erik I agree, but if I'm talking to Sylvie you'll have to talk to Mouse." I said smiling. Erik stood and started pacing.

"Yes I know." He looked at me with a crooked grin. "Not an easy prospect is it my love." A thoughtful look came into his eyes as he gazed at me, his mind seemed elsewhere for a moment.

"What is it Erik?" His eyes regained focus and he seemed to mentally shake himself.

"Nothing angel. Well we might as well get it over with. I'll go and send Sylvie up." he said and left the room.

The next few days Mouse and Sylvie seemed to avoid each other, not wanting to meet each others eyes when they were together, but after a while things were back to normal. The children's birthday celebration came and went and Christmas was nearing. Every now and then I would catch Erik looking at me thoughtfully, looking away when I would catch his eye. I couldn't figure out what was on his mind but he didn't seem to want to talk about it. Any time I asked him about it he would change the subject. Shrugging my shoulders I decided it must have something to do with Christmas.

One night as we were preparing for bed, Erik had just donned his robe when he suddenly turned to me, frustration written on his face. I looked at him in amazement.

"Whatever is wrong Erik?" I asked.

"When were you going to tell me? I've been waiting for you to say something yet still you do not, or are you afraid to." He said in exasperation.

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"When were you going to tell me you are with child?" He asked as he dragged his hand through his hair in agitation.

"Wha… But I'm not…" I stopped. Just when was it that I had last had my monthly. I seemed to have lost track. I looked at Erik, my mouth hanging open. Erik laughed at the look on my face.

"You mean to tell me that you didn't know angel? It dawned on me when we were discussing Sylvie that it had been awhile since your last monthly. I thought back and could remember it had been a couple of months earlier, so I waited, sure that you would tell me soon. Yet another month went by and still you said nothing." I put my hand over my mouth and gasped. He was right. Somehow I had lost all track of time. He chuckled and came to me taking my hands and pulling me to him.

"Erik I don't know what to say." I laughed. "Imagine, you having to tell me that I'm with child. This is rich. Not many husbands would keep track of such things you know." I said smiling as I laid my head against his chest.

"Oh believe me angel. This one does, and counts the days when we can share our love again."

"So according to your calculations just when should this baby be born my love?" I asked as his hand played with my hair. I glanced up at him. He had a smug look on his face, his eyes twinkling down at me.

"According to my calculations it should be sometime in June." He said. He was quite pleased with himself, but then that familiar cloud crossed his eyes.

"Now lets not go into that again Erik. You know my thoughts on that subject."

"You must be extra careful angel. I won't have history repeating itself."

"Well obviously it isn't. I haven't had a trace of morning sickness this time. Even when it was the twins I was occasionally queasy. That is probably why I never even thought of being with child."

"You are the one who said no two pregnancies are the same."

"I know, I know my love." I put my arms around his waist and leaned back, looking up into his eyes. "So when do we tell everyone."

"Might just as well do it tomorrow morning." He said as his lips claimed mine, his tongue dipping deep into my mouth as he pulled me closer. I wound my hands behind his neck, my tongue meeting his in an intricate dance. Our lips parted and he proceeded to place small kisses on my temple, cheek, and down to my neck.

"I love you so much angel." He said softly into my ear and proceeded to nibble gently on the lobe of my ear. The familiar warmth built in my center. He slid my gown from my shoulders, leaned down and lifted me, placing me on the bed. He climbed in next to me and placed his hand on my stomach then leaned over and kissed it and the child within.

The next morning everyone was at the table finishing eating their breakfast when Erik stood up and cleared his throat.

"Madeline, children, Jenny and I have an announcement to make. It seems that this summer there will be another baby." He said smiling. Madeline smiled broadly and at first so did the children but then suddenly Sylvie's eyes grew large and her face turned bright red as she looked back and forth between us, then her plate became of great interest to her in sudden embarrassment. Mouse had been studying his plate for some time now. Erik's expression was puzzled; he didn't know what to make of their expressions. I smiled behind my hand.

"Alright children you are excused. Time for your chores." I said and they got up hurriedly, relief in their eyes as they rushed out.

"What is the matter with them?" he asked puzzled. Madeline smiled and rose to clear the table.

"They just realized how Jenny became with child you big ape. They are just children after all and it embarrasses them. In time they will understand and I am sure that they are happy about having another brother or sister." she explained. I looked at Erik speculatively and waited while Madeline left the room.

"Erik just where did you leave those books of erotica you had? I suggest that they be put somewhere where curious eyes will not find them love. I think they are a little young for that yet." He looked at me with a curious smile.

"That's one of the ways I learned angel, and though I never had anyone to practice with until you I haven't heard you complain. " He said mischievously as he came behind my chair, leaning over and kissing my cheek. "But the books are somewhere they won't find. Is it really normal for them to act so…"

"Oh Erik I keep forgetting you didn't have a proper upbringing. I remember when my mother told me about how babies were created I thought to myself "Oh yuck. I'll never let a man do that to me." I stood and wrapped my arms around his waist. Erik chuckled softly.

"This from the woman who offered herself to me?" He whispered brushing my hair with his lips. I could feel my face turning red.

"You never made me feel yucky." I leaned back and smiled up at him. "You made and still make me feel complete. Does that sound strange?"

"We complete each other." He said as his mouth claimed mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. His tongue probing deeply his hand straying to my breast.

"Unless you want to give the children a demonstration I suggest you take this elsewhere." Madeline said as she re-entered the room. Yet again my face flushed as Erik and I broke apart. My hand went up to straighten my hair while I studied the floor. I glanced up at Erik and his face was also red but he smiled and grabbed my hand.

"I think that Jenny and I forgot something upstairs." He said to Madeline as he dragged me from the room. I heard Madeline laugh as we left.


End file.
